Bad Boy Isn’t My Type

” I will tell Emma to pick it up then…… Get the f*** out now.” I flared up distorted in uncontained anger.

It was upsetting me that she was so stern to empty my room and leave me forever.

” Emma doesn’t know exact details of what I have brought okay, it’s only me who knows…… I’m not going to leave even a single pin of mine in your house. Drive now…” She barked back at me and I looked at her astounded.

I grew still taking her in, my breath increasing, completely lost in a muddles of emotions.

What was she upto now…… can’t she see I was wretched that I could even hurt her blinded with these ruinous emotions?

My eyes were loosing it’s edge dark with so much undeniable pain, sadness, and anger. Everything twisted down once more, and the negativity between us overtaking our emotions.

She was trying to provoke me and it was really getting me, but I was trying my level best to suppress it.

I heaved a shuddered breath. ” Stop …… stop what whatever you are doing…… you think you can confine me-”

” I’m not playing any games Vincent…… If you are not willing then I know many other ways to reach…… . your house. If you don’t want to take me then I’ll go by taxi.”

Again she cut me off surprising me, her words making me mull over this.

” If you are not willing take me…… I will get out……. I’m seriously going then……” She squeaked out in her adorable small voice and I just stared at her still baffled.

” Im seriously going……”

Is she real……

It’s just so cute that she was trying to dominate me, but everybody knows I was the incharge here.

This kid can’t tame me…… a beast like me.

” Okay……” She said in low disappointed tone and my pulse throbbed by her action.

What…

Why was she sad while she had a chance to run away from me…… draw a distance between us?

Was she really here to stay by my side……?

She lowered her and gaze and turned opposite of me, ready to leave and everything churned in me.

I didn’t want her to feel upset because of me but I couldn’t help but feel thrilled at her emotion.

No no no do something idiot!!!

I quickly onned the engine quickly and she stilled but she didn’t turn towards me, but it was more than enough for me that she didn’t get out car at least.

Throughout the ride we were silent, I was missing her voice to say something, listen to her small small bickering but she just stared at the window.

She was smiling as the fresh morning air hit her face and it was ironically lighting my mood. This was working for both of us, conciliating our anger and confusions.

We reached my house and pulled off my car and she got out, walking merrily and I was astounded by her behaviour.

What a dumb yet naive kid……

I just followed her a smile lingering on my lips, despite what happened yesterday we still managed to find each other.

Jennie slowed down and so did I as I found this Elora whining about something, which I failed to concentrate on.

” Phew! I have shopped so much here didn’t I! The luggage has gone heavy.” Elora screeched out and I creased my brow in confusion.

” What’s going on?” I strode towards her seeing the luggage.

” Why have you-”

” Do you know I’m leaving…… going back to my place.” Elora pouted looking at me and I winced by her unexpected response.

No!!!!!

My whole body turned cold, my breath ragged into puffs, a haunting fear rearing up.

” What?…… but …… you said you were going day after tomorrow! Why so sudden…… ” I panicked choking back my pain and fright.

This was suffocating me with ugly emotions, and it was wearing me down.

” I know…… but I have to…… my dad call me yesterday, to sign some papers or whatever it is and my presence is necessary. I don’t want to go but I have to Vincent……”

No!!! Please no! Say you are joking!

Please……

” I’ll miss you Vincent and all of you too” She said and my breathing grew unsteady as she was really going for real!!!

Everything was muting in me, I was drowning into this old despair again, creating painful waves of echoes in my mind and heart.

That means…… Jennie……

I was going deaf and blind to everything, the darkness eloping me, tearing through me.

” That means Jennie can go back to her hometown too!!” I heard somebody voice taking me out of my terrifying thought, but in a second my eyes widened.

It was Xavier’s cousin…… Rose

My heart hurt so much now that it became difficult to breathe.

” Let’s go pack your things fast, it’s still morning. You can catch our train to our town which is at 9!!””

What……

That’s right…… her village…… the place where she always longed for……

I felt guilty for using her shamelessly, keeping her by my side for my own selfish reasons when she was eager for her holidays, her village.

How many times I have heard her saying that word…… I have lost count. Maybe I should let her go…… free her.

My eyes followed her in fear, despite everything I couldn’t see her slipping away from me.

My heart, my mind giving a life threatening pain dragging me mercilessly into despair.

Each and every second ticking was suffocating me, a unconfined sadness, the darkness eloping me.

I felt her coming down but I was too drained out to look at her. I couldn’t face her, afraid that I wouldn’t be able to control. She would see how vulnerable and pathetic human shell I was.

” Okay let’s go……! We don’t have much time, even we have to pack things for village too.”

” Wait…… atleast eat breakfast and go! Why are you hurrying so much! ”

” No…… we will have it there itself, don’t have much time!”

” Thank you for taking care of me untill now…… I really had fun here.”

Her voice sliced everything in me, and I couldn’t help but let out a whimper.

Though she physically present in front of me, the distance between our worlds felt like a dark abyss. It was infinite and impossible to cross.

” It should be us who should be thanking you. If it wasn’t you, we would have died already!”

” Yeah thank god she went off! We got 2 days extra to stay with our parents…… so totally a week now!!!”

What…… a…… a. week……???

No!!! No please! No!

The suffocating sobs threatened to break out, a powerful haunting trepidation and pain taking over me.

” I’m going……” Her words like a arrow to my heart.

A lone tears flowed out of my eyes betraying, a whimper escaping my lips. I was ashamed, I was too ashamed to look at her……

I wanted to cry my heart out to her, plead her beg her not to go, stay by my side but I know I didn’t have right to do it, the burning guilt that twisted my insides.

I wanted her happy, and I wanted her agony gone, make choices of her own but then I couldn’t be that person who could make her feel special.

I wasn’t right for her……. A angel had to be far from a beast……

The car started taking off and I stumbled, unaware of the surrounding anymore, unable to calm down my erratic breathing as air of melancholy surrounded my whole being.

Fear and my sufferings were merged in one powerful ball, threatening to suffocate me as my eyes followed her going away.

No please…… please don’t go…… please……

My breath was going uneven as she left me and I whimpered, my tears dwelling up. She was just going for one week but why I was feeling like it was forever……

The suffocating sobs kept coming, and I couldn’t breathe anymore as anxiety drew me in it’s everlasting darkness.

I felt the tingling in the back of my head and soon enough, it spread through my whole head.

I really wished one day I could proudly say I’m stronger, I conquered my demons and I fought against my tormentors but when will that day come???

I was nothing but a coward, who couldn’t even speak his heart out to someone. A weak pathetic weakling who failed to battle and fight for himself.

I gave upon on myself, damaged myself leading to so many emotional imbalance, leading to disorder……. the scars of my life staining deeply and no name of getting erased.

I was shaking and sobbing, cursing my life and all this blackness that surrounded me.

I felt like one tiny step I made forward was destroyed with a dozen steps backward, and all I could feel was the poison that was killing me fast.

*Time : 8:35*

I was too afraid to go back to my room, seeing her not there was hurting me. It was pathetic and shameful how easy I could lose myself in deep agony and fear.Ccontent © exclusive by Nô/vel(D)ra/ma.Org.

But I had to face it…… I had to face my inner demons to survive. One or the other day this day definitely had to come.

I entered my room, my hand shaking vigorously. Everything felt empty, the previous darkness and gloominess back.

I looked around my breath increasing, and I took a hair pin which was in front of mirror. It was hers……

I closed my eyes to get rid of that gruesome pain, but it buried itself in my mind.

I swallowed an enormous lump in my throat, holding onto the pin of hers when nausea gushed from deep within my stomach.

No this wasn’t right……

This isn’t how it supposed to be!!!

I had the right to be happy, and no matter how good and happy I felt during those unexpected, precious moments with Jennie, it wasn’t enough.

The tiny fragments of utter happiness, the shared memories weren’t enough to void the years of my sufferings and bereavement.

I just couldn’t sit like a coward hoping everything would go alright. I can’t let her go……

She has become my world now…… and I wanted her be my side…… forever

I looked at the my phone and it was 8: 45……

” We can catch our train to our town which is at 9! ”

F***!!!!

I ran down with my keys hurriedly, my pulse picking up high and I dashed down towards my car.

My insecurity told me this was the stupidest idea ever, but something stronger in me, something that didn’t allow me to back down.

” Vincent!??? ” Blake said as he saw me but I was running late, it was f***ing 8: 49 now, I just ignored him.

I fired the engine and drove off furiously, increased my speed. The station from here was of time 15 min…… and her train was departing at 9!

I increased the speed gripping the steering wheel way to tightly, changing the gear. I was surely going to be sued by cop for driving this speed but I don’t give a f*** now!

It was a do or a die situation!!

But I was seeing through that I don’t drive recklessly too.

F*** 8: 59!!!!!!

I somehow reached the station and I ran at my full speed, my eyes wandering all over the space, desperately searching for her.

I held my head, my breath increasing, me in a verge of crying as I couldn’t find her, it was 9: 00 now!

A train started moving and I ran around it searching for her. At far I saw Rose and Taeyong waving at a compartment and my eyes widened.

This was it! She was definitely in there, but the train was departing.