BREAKING POINT

“Perhaps” Penny thought, “If I had known what it meant to love and be loved I should not feel as I do about Jeremy”

She knew now that her love for Howard, although real and sincere, had nevertheless been immature, now at twenty seven, she had really fallen in love completely and absolutely. There had been no one since Howard partly because she hadn’t taken several years to recover from the shock of his death, partly because she could never be satisfied with a light, casual flirtation. It must be love or nothing for her -always. And now Jeremy had come into her life, confirming her instinctive belief that it was worth waiting for the real thing.

A smile touched the corner of her lips as she relived their first meeting. It had been at a literary cocktail party. Jeremy’s father was a well known novelists and he had taken Jeremy along with him for the experience and interest it might afford him. The publisher for whom Penny was working at the time had invited her to accompany him in order to help forward her career. It so happened that he was the man who published Mr Gilbert’s books.

“I would like to introduce Mrs Penny Hampson” he said to Jeremy’s father, Grayson Gilbert.

Mr Gilbert had shaken her hand, saying:

“My son will be greatly surprised. He told me he expected all the clever clever girls would be thin scraggy, brainy and wearing glasses! I had a job to convince him there were bound to be some pretty ones about. Ah! He’s coming over to us”

Raising her eyes Penny saw a tall, lithe figure striding towards them, a cheerful grin of anticipation on his handsome, sunburnt face. She felt a little bubble of laughter surge up inside her, a queer sinking sensation in the pit of her stomach.

“Well, dad! So you were right!” Jeremy had said “Will you introduce us?”

“Penelope…. I didn’t catch the other name” Mr Gilbert said with a smile.

“Hampson, Penelope Hampson” Penny said holding out her hand.

“I’m Jeremy”

Their eyes had met and they had laughed suddenly and unaccountably like two excited children. Tactfully, Mr Gilbert drew his publisher to one side and opened a conversation.

“Cigarette?” Jeremy asked her.Content from NôvelDr(a)ma.Org.

Penny took one from Jeremy’s rolled silver case and watched his long thin fingers striking a match.

‘Nice fingers’ she had thought. ‘I would like to draw his hands’

“You have finished your drink. Wait here and don’t dare move until I come back”

She had waited, knowing that she hadn’t the slightest intention of moving away from him.

Presently he reappeared and handed her a glass of sherry. Penny lifted her left hand to take the glass, and as she raised it to him, their eyes met again and she saw that his were no longer laughing, but clouded with disappointment.

“Is something wrong?” she had asked.

“No! I…. Did you say Mrs Hampson?”

He stressed the ‘Mrs’ and Penny knew immediately that he had seen Howard’s thin gold wedding ring on her finger.

“Yes!” she said simply. And in order to avoid any embarrassment which might result from further questions, she added. “My husband was killed in an accident some years ago”

“I’m sorry” Jeremy had said and although she had sensed his relief at finding that she was single, she also knew that his sympathy was genuine and sincere.

There had been a moments silence then Jeremy had laughed -that sudden excited nervous laugh of his -and said :

“My father seems to be busy. Let’s slip away and find somewhere to dine and dance”

And before Penny could give an assent, he had interrupted his father’s conversation. Penny could not hear them, but she saw them nod their heads and smile, and then Jeremy was back, his blue gray eyes  sparkling with mischief.

“All set!” he had said. “Now where shall we go?”

“Anywhere you like!” Penny replied. And she had known then that she meant it. She would go anywhere with Jeremy. On half an hour’s acquaintance, she was ready to follow him to the other end of the earth if he asked her to go. It was a genuine case of love at first sight.

“I never believed there was such a thing before I met Jeremy” she told herself now. Since then her days had been filled with excitement, interest and a passionate awareness of life and the glory of living. Jeremy had done that for her.

But in spite of all her happiness, there was still one remaining problem. A month ago, Jeremy had told her he loved her. He had dropped her outside her flat after an evening out, and shutting off the engine of his car, he had enfolded her in his arms and said.

“Oh! Penny, I do love you…. So very very much”

But he had not asked her to marry him.

Tomorrow, tomorrow he will! Penny convinced herself as she stood in front of her mirror. She gazed with satisfaction at the rich glow in her cheeks, the twin stars in her dark brown eyes, and the sheen of her rich, sleek brown hair in the soft rosy light of her dressing table lamp. She was beautiful.

‘It’s because I am in love’ she told herself happily.

But Penny could never pass unnoticed even without that sparkle which her highly emotional state had lent her. Her legs were long and slim, her body supple, feminine but firm and youthful in its strength. She carried herself beautifully and her artists hands were long and tapered. Her eyes were set wide apart in an oval face, her nose slightly tip tilted but not enough to give her an air of pertness.

There was no laughter in Penny’s eyes as she as she gave up the idea of work and went into her kitchen to make a cup of tea. Only worry and an unusual pallor in her cheeks, a lassitude which suggested sleepless nights. For Jeremy had not asked her to marry him, the next day, or the next. Only the following week did he mention his feelings for her again, and then he had said :

“I can’t go on like this much longer, Penny. I’m in love with you. I’m crazy about you. I want more than just your kisses. Can’t I come back to your flat tonight?”