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Lauren’s pregnancy went well. So far, we don’t have any problems and from what I can see, he seems to be fine. She is very active. I also go with her for check-ups to make sure that she and our baby are ok.
But I hate something. Because apart from the pink rice cake that she is conceiving and making me do something, she is also conceiving something else. None other than Dylan. My shameless brother— and was very happy.
There was this time that she woke me up easily to call Dylan to go. Fortunately, the asshole was supportive and came. I thought that she was going to do something but she just stare at Dylan. Literally staring.
She laughed at Dylan’s face. She makes Dylan watch the show to laugh and when the idiot laughs, she laughs too. There was a time when Dylan remembered something that made him sad and he was quiet when Lauren suddenly started crying.
Fuck, I am the father, and then my brother she wants. I am not jealous. I’m not jealous at all because I know my wife loves me. I’m jealous because I must be the one she wants, but it’s ok.
I can see how happy my wife is. In the first month of her pregnancy, her conception is no longer that intense. But my annoying brother suddenly appeared. This month we will see our daughter. A beautiful mini-Lauren. Yes, our firstborn is a girl and we name her Avyanna, I am so excited to meet her. Her name means, strong, powerful, and beautiful.
We just got back from the mansion because Ixora—-Daze’s daughter was baptized. I can’t believe that my younger sister has her own daughter. She’s our baby and now she’s married and has her own family. It’s like yesterday she knows nothing but enjoying her life. Well, that’s life, maybe that’s better so she can be responsible.
It became my routine to talk to Avyanna every day, every night. Lauren and I sometimes play the kalimba every night before bed. When she woke up, Lauren was singing. The first time I felt her kick was so amazing. I can’t say what I really feel. All I know is that I am happy. Although I experience it with my nieces and nephew, it’s still different from my own child.
On Lauren’s part, she’s quite strong. I can see that she is struggling but I can see that she is not complaining. While sleeping, I noticed that she was always struggling in her position but I didn’t hear anything from her.
But honestly, I’m still afraid. I didn’t make it obvious to Lauren, but since we confirmed that she was pregnant, I had anxiety. I can’t focus on work because I’m thinking about her. When I see her wince I immediately get nervous. And as her delivery got closer and closer, I couldn’t help but get nervous.
I have this fear that what if she can’t handle it? What if something happens to her? What if it’s like Lindsay or Dane’s friend’s wife who fell into a coma after giving birth to twins? What if—-what if—-.
“Hubby?”
“Huh?”
“I’ve been calling you for a while, but you’re ignoring me. Is there a problem?”
“Nothing, does something hurt you? Do you need anything?” I asked nervously and quickly got nervous.
“Hubby.” She held my hand. “Hubby, since you found out I’m pregnant, you’ve changed. There are times when I see you stunned. Even if you tell me you’re ok, I notice that you’re not ok. Aren’t you happy about Avyanna?”
“Wife, no, I’m happy. I am, too much.”
“Then why are you always sad?”
“Wife, I am not sad.” I sighed and held her hand. “I’m afraid.”
“Afraid of?”
“That you will leave me. I can’t explain it to you.”
“That may be what happened to her might happen to me?” I frowned because of her question.
“What do you mean?”
“The girl that you once loved, name Lindsay—-the mother of your firstborn Dale junior.”
“How did—”
“Sorry if I lied hubby, I knew it for a long time but I didn’t tell you. I just waited for you to confess but it looks like you can’t tell me and worst is that you are still carrying the guilt and fear.”
“Wife?”
“Dylan told me, and I met her too. She’s nice and she told me to take care of you. She forgives you and she wants happiness for you too.”
“You know her?”
“Hmph. I know everything about you, hubby, and I accept you completely.”
“Don’t you hate me because I’m a rapist? Aren’t you afraid of what might happen to you when you give birth?” She shook her head and smiled.
“I don’t hate you. Never, hubby, I experienced how beast you are, but I never hated you. Afraid? No. Because we have been through different things. What happened to her never happened to me and we are in different situations. She did what happened on purpose because she was mad at you. While I am ready and happy to have our daughter. She wanted to end her life to escape from you, while me, I wanted to have you eternally.”
“Wife.” My tears shed and she wiped them. After all these years, my wife knows my past, my secret, but she loves me and did not force me to speak. She understood me even though I couldn’t understand myself. She’s selfless when it comes to me.
“Hubby, I love you, I love you so much. I promise you that no matter what happens, I will not leave you. Your daughter and I will come back and we will be together forever.”
“I’m sorry. I’m just scared. I’ve lost a lot, wife, and I’m afraid——”
“I will not disappear, trust me, hubby. I will never leave you. I am strong, stronger than you think. I promised. So please, please, remove your fear. Trust me, okay?” I nodded and hugged her. She hugged me back so I hugged her tighter.
Somehow, what he said made me feel better. But my fear still hasn’t completely disappeared. As long as she doesn’t deliver and I can’t see that they are safe, I won’t be quiet. But I will hold on to what she said she will not leave. I will hold on to what she said no matter what happens she will fight.Property belongs to Nôvel(D)r/ama.Org.
“I love you, wife. I love you so much.”
“I love you too, hubby. I’m always by your side no matter what happens.”