First Love

lily’s POVNôvel(D)rama.Org's content.

It’s been past few days since Adrain is behaving differently. He talks to me, asks me for food, smiles often and most of all didn’t torture me.

Something must’ve happened to him, I guess. Let’s see when he’ll let me go? If he doesn’t want to torture me anymore.

“I never got a chance to know you.” He smiled. 

He smiled again. See that’s what I was talking about. He smiles often nowadays.

“And last time you said so-”

“Let’s not talk about the past.” He cut me in the middle.

How can I not talk about the past, Adrain? I will never be able to forget those horrific moments of my life, no matter what you do.

“My name is Lily, I like writing songs. My favourite movie is beauty and the beast and yes I love the smell of rain and coffee.” I blabbered in one go.

He looked at me and then at the blank space. “I am beast and you’re the beauty, no?”

“I never said that. You’re Adrain and I am Lily.” 

He chuckled. “And you write songs? Do you sing them too?”

I nodded. “Sometimes, yes.”

“Sing me a song created by you.” He said.

Licking my lips, I thought of declining it but then I don’t know something in me told that I should sing the song. Not because he asked but because I want to show him my worth. I want to show him that I am good at something.

“When I last met you in the autumn,

Your smile was shining like burning wood,

Creating memories and endless love,

Oh,

When I last met you in the spring,

Your laugh was shining like flaming gorge,

Diving my heart and endless love,

When I last met you,

You were this beautiful Friday,

I still remember how you touched me for the first time,

I still remember how you held me for the first time,

Oh my love,

I lost you forever but your fading memories hold me tighter,

When I last met you in your last rites,

Your face shining brighter than light,

You were this fragile being,

Saying goodbye to the world of my life,

You made me laugh, you made me dance and now when you’re gone,

I remember when I met you last.

I finished singing the song which I wrote when I lost my mother. It was indeed one of the finest lyrics I’ve ever wrote and every time I sing, it breaks my heart to think about my mother. I lost her when I was very young. Fresh out of high school, I came home and found that she had been in an accident which took her breath away. It was hard for me to accept the reality and to cope up with pain I wrote this song for her. I thought that maybe that’s how I can connect with her. Losing someone close to our heart is not easy, it breaks us into millions of unstitched pieces. I tried to stitch them but I couldn’t.

I saw Adrain looking staring at my face, his eyes were soft but something in them told me about his pain.

He had also lost his family that too in a fire. It must be hard for him to move on. Losing parents is hardest part of all. Because it leaves us with nowhere to go.

“I am sorry. I forgot.”

“Mhmm?” He asked coming back to the reality.

“I said I am sorry.”

“No. It was beautiful. Your voice it’s beautiful.” He said, still staring my face.

I flushed.

“And the lyrics. They were… They were painfully beautiful.” He added.

“Thank you. I wrote them when I lost my mother. It was a old song of mine.” I said.

“Oh.” He said.

Next an itching silence dropped between us. We didn’t say anything to each other, just sat and stayed rooted to our place. I wonder what he was thinking right now? Was he happy that I lost my mother? Was he sad for him own family? There are thousands of answers but I want to read his mind, to know that what’s going through him.

“Why haven’t you tried to pursue a career in singing?” He asked.

I shrugged my shoulders. “I never thought about it. It was kind of more like a hobby to me.”

“You should think about it. I mean you could be a hit singer.” He smiled.

And alas! His smile killed me almost. He looks darn sexy with that smile of him which hides thousands of unspoken pain.

“I’ll think about it.” And this time I smiled back.

We were smiling at each other, looking like fools and then something came up to my mind. I couldn’t be here forever, right? Now that he’s no more angry with me and I guess doesn’t want revenge on me, will he now let me go? Will I be free from his hostage?

I couldn’t be here forever. I don’t want to be here forever. I have a family, I have my life, I have my dreams which I can’t left behind.

“Adrain, when will you let me go?” I asked.

He stilled for a second, staring at my face and all of sudden his temper changed. He was no longer smiling. His eyes changed their dilution and he was now angry.

I feared this side of him.

“What did you say?” He asked, trying to stay calm.

I couldn’t collect enough strength to say anything. My lips started trembling in fear when he came closer to me. He grabbed me by my jaw and looked straight into my eyes. We were just inches apart and his breath was fanning over my face. I was afraid that he might do something to hurt me but what he said terrified me thousand times more.

“You’re not leaving me Lily. Now you’re fucking mine.”