Chapter 2
Two weeks later
I’m finding my groove, even though it’s a paltry one. I’ve been sleeping in parks, showering in their bathrooms, and then running to both jobs in an effort to save up for an apartment that would rent to me.
It’s snowing today, the way it has been the last three days, so I’m going to stay in one of the hostels that ask very few questions, and don’t care what my designation is.
“Hey, Aisling, can I see you for a second?” Caleb asks, his brow knitting into a frown.
Please, please don’t fire me.
I haven’t done anything wrong, but my anxiety spikes regardless. I’ve been trying to hide that I’ve come into my designation. A little perfume to cover my scent, special underwear to hide any hint of slick, and a gel under my nostrils the girls introduced me to, that makes me immune to an alpha’s scent.
Apparently, it’s a bartender trick. Orla and Mickey knew I was an omega the second I walked into the bar to help open up the night after I was kicked out of my apartment. They took me under their wing when I burst into tears, tired, sore, and overwhelmed. I was worried they would tell Caleb, which would lead to getting fired. I’m tired of feeling scared all of the time.
So far, hiding has worked.
“Yeah, boss,” I murmur, following him to his office. Orla just winks at me as I pass her, not at all looking worried.
“Is there anything going on with you?” he asks, once he closes his door. “My brother has been up my ass asking if you’re doing okay. He doesn’t fucking care about anyone.”
“I have a lot on my mind,” I finally decide to say. “I’m fine, though.”
“You’re working two back to back shifts between our two businesses, aren’t you like sixteen?” he asks, his fingers raking through his dark brown hair.
Self consciously, I cross my arms over my chest, shrugging. “Mr. Lars said my age wouldn’t be an issue.”
“It’s not,” he says, exasperated, “but I’m using it to make a point. When are you going to school?”
“I’m not,” I state. “I had to drop out two weeks ago.”
“Those aren’t the words I was expecting,” Caleb says. “What the hell? Lars said you’re smart.”
Staring blankly at him, I take a deep breath. “A lot of things changed in the last two weeks. Since I’m responsible for financially supporting myself completely, I have to work more,” I explain. “This means I don’t have time for school. They ask too many questions, much like this. Are we done?”
Sitting on the edge of his desk, he shakes his head slowly. “Nope,” he grunts. “I have more questions than answers, and if I go back to my brother with the bullshit you just told me, he’s going to lose his shit. I need more than this.”
Shoving the emotion into a tiny box so I won’t cry, I nod. Caleb is an alpha, and while he’s a hardass, he cares about his staff, even if he doesn’t typically give a shit about how old you are.
“After my first shift here, I went home to my apartment, to find that my landlord was kicking me out because my mother had an aneurysm and died,” I begin. “The paramedics were there, the police, and Mr. Coon. I was threatened with social services if I didn’t pack my bag and get out.”
“Is that why you always have the giant backpack with you?” Caleb groans, his piercing green eyes gazing at me as he starts to piece things together. “God, I’m an idiot. So where the hell are you living?”
“Here and there,” I mutter, swallowing hard. “Shelters won’t take me, and they ask too many questions too.”
“It’s snowing, Aisling,” he says slowly as if I’m an idiot. He’s tall and muscular, his brightly colored tattoos on display as he leans forward, his hands on his knees.
“I know that,” I sigh. “No one is going to rent an apartment to me at sixteen, Caleb. There are hostels that I’ll stay at until the snow clears up, and then I’ll go back to what I was doing before.”
“I need more than that. Who found your mom? Where are you staying?” he asks.
“I found her three days before they kicked me out,” I mumble. “There are parks nearby where I can stay and no one asks questions. Then, I use the showers and restrooms there before I go to work.”
“Fuck,” Caleb says. “Do you know how wrong all of this could go?”
“What else am I supposed to do?” I ask. “I have no family, no resources and I’m a… kid.”
I was going to say omega, but since he’s an alpha, it would just rile him up even more. I’m hiding because it’s safer this way. The wheels are already turning in his head as he blows out a breath, and I stiffen as I wait for him to explode.
“You can’t sleep outside,” he says. “Aisling, you’ve shut down the bar every fucking night, and then you work a full shift for Lars. How are you still functioning?”
“Coffee,” I say, looking at him to see if he can see the irony.
“What are you eating? When are you sleeping? How are you fucking staying safe?” he explodes. “He’s going to fucking kill me!”
“No he’s not,” I tell him. “You’re my bosses, not my keepers. I’ll manage. Can I go back to work?”
“Yes, but only because it’s safer in here,” he grunts. Leaving quickly, I scurry back to my shift.
They’re sweet for worrying, but I just want to be forgotten, so I can keep to the fringes of society. I don’t need nor want questions or to end up in the system.
At the end of my shift, I leave the bar, only to find the snow is coming down so hard I can barely see.
“Are you freaking kidding me?” I groan, standing by the door.
“You’re coming home with me, kid,” Mickey says. “I refuse to be the reason you don’t wake up in the morning.”
“But,” I start, but I don’t know how to refuse him.
“Sleep on my couch, and then we’ll go from there, okay?” he says.
“My lease is up in a couple of weeks,” Orla says. “Why don’t we see about getting a bigger place together? If we don’t get you off the streets, Caleb may have a heart attack.”
I wince because his face was pretty red. I think he was equal parts mad and in shock.
“I think you’re right,” I sigh. “Thank you. I know you don’t have to do this.”
“Omegas have to stay together, and you’re not going into heat any time soon hopefully. I usually find a pack to meet my needs for the week,” Orla says, shrugging.
“I do the same,” Mickey says. “We haven’t found a pack we want to settle down with, but knots and slick happen, kid. It’s just biology.”
Yeah, but it kind of sucks.
Two months later
Walking down the street to Brewed Awakening, I grin as I look up at the clear skies. Things have been good lately. Mickey, Orla, and I got an apartment, and are splitting the rent three ways. I can also more than manage it between the two jobs, while still being able to get groceries and keep my cell phone on.
Maybe it’s sentimental, but I like being able to look through old text messages Mom sent me, or to listen to voice memos. She liked to walk and talk, and this made it possible for her to do.
I never deleted any of them, and it helps me feel as if I’m keeping a part of her with me.
It’s so nice to sleep in a bed instead of the ground, or a lumpy hostel mattress, and it’s funny to me that Mickey and Orla’s heats overlap each other, so I get a week to myself. Our apartment complex is in a decent neighborhood, and our landlord isn’t a jerk either.
Both of which means, I don’t mind the time alone. The three of us also went in together to get an internet connection under the condition that I use it to get a GED.
It’s like having a big brother and sister that I never had. I like it more than I let on. It helps not to feel so alone.
Opening the door to the coffee shop, I hurry to put my things away. It’s nice not to have to lug in my backpack everywhere anymore. Everything finally has its own place in my room at the apartment.
Mr. Lars sees too much, so I used to stash it in a metro station locker.
Caleb and Mr. Lars clearly have been talking about me to each other for them to have put things together.
“Hello, Aisling,” Mr. Lars drawls as I step behind the counter.
“Good morning,” I say, checking to see what needs to be refilled. It’s eleven, and the morning shift has been busy. I’m glad it’s slower as I get into the swing of things.
“Any secrets today?” he asks, teasingly as I roll my eyes.
“Nope,” I tell him, running back and forth to the freezer to refill the trays.
“None?” he asks, and I huff because I don’t know what he could possibly mean.
“You know what Caleb knows,” I remind him. “The two of you gossip worse than anyone else I know. I’m living in the apartment, working, and doing my thing.”
“What about school?” Mr. Lars asks, his arms crossing over his chest.
“Are you going to fire me for not going to school?” I challenge him.
The other two people who work up here are taking a break to clean up the cafe while I restock. We’re a pretty well-oiled machine.
“No, because you’re busting my balls and already enrolled aren’t you?” he asks.
“Gossip,” I mutter. “I’m getting my GED. It’s a little different, but anything I don’t know, I’m learning now.”
“Good,” he says with a nod, walking away.
I swear, this man is infuriating.
My eyes catch on the birthmark I have on my hand between my thumb and index finger. I always thought it was odd, since my mom didn’t have it. When I was eight, I asked if anyone else in our family had it, and she got sad and told me no. I never asked her again.
I wish I had, since now I can’t.
Sighing, I let myself get sucked into my day, content to forget all the things I regret.
A year and a half later
November 4th
Things are good today! It’s my birthday, I have the day off, and I’m finally in a place where I don’t feel guilty for taking a ‘me’ day. Caleb and Mr. Lars conspire together to force me to take personal time, and I simply find a way to pick up a shift anyway.
I put in a request to have the day off, and shocked the hell out of them. I’m eighteen as of three fifteen this morning, and as excited as I am, I also know I’m that much closer to my first heat.
I’ve asked Mickey and Orla about it, but they told me it is incredibly painful without alphas to get you through it.
Not getting the answer I wanted, I went online and found that there are toys to help with your heat. So, I’m making myself a little nest in my closet to ride it out alone. I’m not trying to buck my biology or the fact that I’m an omega. Now that I have a place to live, I’ve stopped using perfume to mask my scent.
I’ve gotten a few side glances from people, especially my bosses, but otherwise it hasn’t made a difference. Caleb and Mr. Lars are going to be overprotective of me whether I’m an omega or an elephant. It doesn’t really matter either way.
One thing I haven’t stopped religiously using, is the little gel under my nostrils. Alphas make my stomach flip-flop when they come up to ask for their drinks, especially the really fucking attractive ones. They could be twenty-one or forty, my body finds ways to show me how appreciative it is for the eye candy, especially the last time I didn’t wear the gel under my nose.
They smell so good, and my pussy immediately slicked. Orla snickered and shoved the gel in my hand, though my tips were tripled that night. Fuck me, it’s embarrassing to want to climb every alpha in sight that looks pretty.
I want to find my scent match.
Waiting sounds more appealing to me, rather than an interminable line of alphas that I only need for their knots. Even if it’s understood upfront that we’d only be using each other for sex, it feels wrong to me.
Maybe I’ll change my mind when I’m tired of being alone.
Orla told me that if I want to find my scent match, then I’ll need to stop using the gel to block their scents outside of work. I’ll also need to do more than just go to work and come home.
Yes, maybe I need to find the time to get a life.
Soon though.
I’m terrified of getting behind, and ending up back on the streets. Orla and Mickey are amazing, but I never want to be late on rent.
I’m on my way to treat myself to some fall scented candles for my room, a new fuzzy blanket that’s burnt orange and red to fit my mood, and maybe a new witchy book. I also plan to swing through a sex toy store to find a few toys with big, juicy knots in preparation for whenever my heat hits.
I may as well take full advantage of my day off, right?
October flew by on me between working at the bar and the coffee shop, though I did get to make myself some pumpkin spiced lattes and apple cider on my breaks. Mr. Lars says we can make ourselves two free drinks while we’re on shift, though I think it’s so I won’t fall asleep on the job some days.
Whatever the reason, sometimes it’s necessary.
I’m wearing a leopard print skirt with a slit up the side, for the pocket knife that I carry when I’m out and about, and a long-sleeved top that says I left my smile in my other pocket. You get my resting bitch face today knotted over the top of my skirt.
My combat boots round out my birthday outfit, and I’m wearing my hair in pretty ringlets, with large hoops in my ears. I feel happy. I rarely get to wear my own clothes, since my bartending outfits are on the slutty side, or I’m in my Brewed Awakening uniform. It’s nice to just be myself.
My hands are full of bags as I end my shopping spree, and my neck prickles with the sensation that someone is following me. I move the bag with my blanket into my left hand so my right is free, allowing my fingers to look as if they’re tangled in my skirt.
In reality, I’m getting ready to grab my knife if needed. Unsure if I should turn to see if I can see the stalker, I choose to take a right before my apartment to begin to walk away from it.
This will take me in the direction of the coffee shop, which is still open. Even though I may not make it there, Caleb’s bar is also this way.
“Oye, girl!” a man barks, making me flinch. My palm closes over my knife, slowly pulling it from the thigh holster as the layers of my skirt hide my hand.
Turning my body slightly toward him, I make eye contact with the tall, Irish alpha with dark brown curls falling over his forehead, scruff over his cheeks, and bedroom eyes. Even though I can’t smell him, his commanding presence screams for me to run away.
He’s also fucking huge, if I had to guess, I’d say six-foot-five.
“Girl’ isn’t my name,” I tell him. “Go away, and stop harassing me. It’s not at all attractive.”
What I fail to say is that he is going to go into my spank box. I’ve started to make one that will live in my imagination while I’m getting through my heat alone. Blowing out a breath, I turn away from him, while still paying attention to his every breath, movement, and the possible consequences of blowing him off.
I’ve lived on my own long enough to know better than to turn my back on an alpha, but I’m praying the meager self defense skills I’ve learned will help me. If all else fails, I’m great with a knife.
One of the alphas that Mickey likes to fuck has been wanting to court him with his pack. It makes me laugh, because I didn’t think sex would stay just sex. Regardless, he saw my knife strapped to my thigh one day and asked me if I knew how to use it.
When he saw my face, he taught me the skills I’d need to bring a man twice my size down.
I really hope the alpha behind me doesn’t make a foolish mistake, because the police and I aren’t on the best of terms.
“Why are you making this so difficult?” he growls.
Yanking my arm with the packages back, he shoves me into the brick wall behind me. I drop everything but the knife, pulling it out and holding it to his neck.
“Because it’s my birthday and I fucking can, alpha dick!” I yell in his face. The first rule when you’re being attacked is to be as loud as possible. If he really wants to hurt you, he’ll want you to stay quiet.
The alpha hisses as he feels the blade of my knife, assessing me with his blue-eyed gaze before they slide to look at my hand.
“I don’t want to hurt you, little omega. My boss would fucking kill me,” he grunts. “Where did you get this mark on your hand?”
“It’s a birthmark,” I snarl, pressing the knife against his neck. At this angle it simply appears that he is pressing me against the wall and is interrogating me. No one can see my knife.
“Why the fuck does an alpha need to know about a mark I’ve had my entire life?”
“I know your father,” he mutters.
“I don’t have a father,” I say. “Now, go back to whoever that person is and tell them you’re mistaken.”
“Wish I could,” he says, letting go of my hand to grab his phone. “I’ll let him tell you. Cian told me to look out for that very birthmark. He’s been looking for you.”
The phone rings as I gaze at him with wide eyes. I should run, as fast as I can, but a part of me wants answers. So many times, I’ve wondered if someone was looking for me, and the alpha smirks as he leaves his neck pressed against my blade as a show of faith.
“You’re entirely too brave for your own good,” he says. “Just dangerous enough with a blade, fuck your hand isn’t even shaking. There’s no way you’re not the boss’ kid.”
The alpha takes a deep breath as the wind whips through the street, his nostrils flaring. I wonder if he can smell my scent, and hope for dear life that my panties are holding up to their end of the bargain.
None of my undergarments are anything but scent and slick wicking so no one can smell the mess my pussy makes without any remorse.
Being an omega makes me feel as if I’m the horniest eighteen-year-old in the entire goddamn world. My cheeks heat at the thought, and the alpha smirks as someone picks up the phone.
“Yeah? I’m in the middle of some things,” the man growls. It’s a deep gravelly tone, making my brow furrow. Who is that?
“Sullivan, what did Beatrice say about her daughter?” the alpha asks. My eyes widen at my mom’s name, my head already beginning to shake in denial.
“Hayes, you better not be fucking with me,” my possible father mutters. “She said Aisling has wild, blonde hair, green eyes the color of emeralds, and that she’s about five-foot-nine, though she could be taller by now. Oh, and she has the family birthmark on her left hand, between her index and thumb. Why?”
“I found her,” Hayes says, taking a photo of my face and sending it to him.
“Hey!” I yell. “God, you’re fucking rude. All my shit is on the ground now, too.”
“You look like her, outside of the hair,” the man on the phone says in awe. “Aisling, I didn’t know about you, I swear on my mother’s life. Bea never told me, and then I found a letter addressed to me from her telling me she was sick and all about you. I searched for you at the apartments, but you were gone.”
“The landlord and the cops threw me out,” I wheeze, feeling as if I can’t breathe.
There was someone out there… looking for me.
I feel lightheaded as I shove my knife back into the holster strapped to my thigh. I need air, despite being outside. Leaning down, I ignore Hayes’s curious gaze as it finds the sex toys strewn across the pavement.
Yep, that’s really fucking embarrassing. Grabbing what I can without having to get on my knees to pick up, I’m running before I can think.
“Woah, wait, Aisling!” Hayes roars as I race toward Finnegan’s Bar. I don’t know if it’s open, I just know I need a place to think. I’m more likely to make it to the bar than Brewed Awakening right now.
The stomping of feet follows behind me, and I shake my head. No, no, no. There was someone out there for me, yet I was still alone, sleeping in parks, working my ass off to find safety.
It doesn’t seem fair. Tears mar my vision as I struggle to see in front of me, and I run into a solid chest at full speed.
“Woah, little omega. What’s got you running?” Caleb asks, holding me away from him. He doesn’t even budge despite my full on collision, and I pant as I start to sob.
“I can’t do this,” I wail, gasping for air.
Caleb’s gaze moves to take in the alpha behind me holding a bag as he slides to a stop. There’s an active call still on the cell in Hayes’s other hand, and I suspect my father is waiting to see if his alpha can chase me down.
“Mind telling me why you’ve got my employee all kinds of panicked?” Caleb growls. “She doesn’t freak out easily.”
“It’s none of your business,” Hayes snarls, not even breathing hard. I’m already looking for an escape route from where I’m stuck between them. If they get into a fight, it won’t be pretty.
“Hayes, mind your manners,” Mr. Sullivan barks. I can feel the command even through the phone, it’s so clear and strong. Shuddering, my eyes grow wide as I gaze at Hayes.
I won’t call the man on my phone my father, even in the face of so much evidence. It just doesn’t feel right.
“I’m afraid I’m the problem,” Mr. Sullivan admits. “I recently found out that I have a daughter, and asked my men to be on the lookout for her. I knew she was in Minneapolis, just not where.”
“You do realize she’s been through hell the last two years, right?” Caleb asks. “She slept in fucking parks for weeks… in March! We got snow that month, fucker.”
Hayes stiffens, struggling not to punch Caleb, but my boss isn’t lying. Sniffling, I dash the tears away from my cheeks, reaching out to snatch my bag of sex toys. Hayes snickers, relaxing, while Caleb glares, unsure what is so funny.
“Aisling, is that true?” Mr. Sullivan asks.
“Where else was I supposed to sleep?” I ask in return. “I found my designation the same damn day, and it was after two in the morning. There wasn’t a single shelter that would have taken me, even if they were open. Mom died in her sleep. I stayed in the apartment with her dead body for three fucking days before the landlord broke in while I was working.”
“Where are you working so late?“ Mr. Sullivan asks, and I press my lips together. Caleb went out on a limb for me. I’ve already said too much.
“You’re alright, kid,” Caleb mutters. “I don’t think these are the kinds of people who will care if I hired an underaged kid to sling drinks in my bar.”
“She’s a bartender,” Mr. Sullivan says almost as if it’s a prayer.
“Would you not want me if I was a stripper?” I ask with a hysterical laugh. “Mom spent years working as one to make sure everything was always paid on time.”
“I don’t think it’s the occupation, but your age that’s the issue,” Caleb says gently. “Why are you looking for her?”
“My wife hid the letter Bea wrote to me while she was sick,” Mr. Sullivan explains. “Bea told me she was living on borrowed time, and where to find you two and a half years ago. It would have been enough time if Nancy hadn’t hidden the letter from me. Needless to say, things are rocky.”
“Two and a half years,” I echo, eyes wide.
“I live twenty minutes from the city, Aisling. Can we just meet, please? I can’t imagine who you’ve been living with in the time that you’ve been alone,” Mr. Sullivan says.
Blowing out a breath, I shrug. “I have an apartment now, I work two jobs, and I dropped out of school,” I explain. At Sullivan’s growl, I roll my eyes. “I got my GED. I’m smart, I work hard, and I keep my head down.”
I watch as blood trickles down Hayes’s neck proudly, smirking as he ignores it.
“She also held a knife to my throat when I grabbed her arm,” Hayes grumbles. “She’s absolutely yours, boss.”
“Your call, kid,” Caleb mutters.
“Where do I know you from?” Hayes asks, while my boss ignores him.
“Did you drop anything else?” Caleb asks. “Is this how you’re spending your birthday?”
The other two alphas have a quick intake of breath while I nod with a sigh. While I mentioned my birthday earlier, I don’t think Hayes fully caught it while he was following me. The wind tends to carry words away.
“I was going to take my new fuzzy blanket and candle and veg with a new book,” I say. “Looks like my plans are fucked like usual.”
“Wait, they don’t have to be,” Mr. Sullivan says quickly, sounding panicked. I don’t think he realized what day today is, and I really don’t expect anyone else to either. People I work with know because I’m taking a very rare day off.
“Please, I just want to get to know you. It’s what your mother wanted, too. Come over, have dinner, and then decide if you want to stay.”
“Living with someone I don’t know is a big ask,” I remind him.
“Yes, I suppose it is, but it opens a lot of doors, too. What do you want in life?” Mr. Sullivan asks, trying to sweet talk me.
Little does he know that his supposed little girl has a savior complex.
“I want to change it,” I growl. “Omegas get the shit end of the stick every fucking day. We aren’t safe, we’re grabbed in the middle of the damn street while minding our own business, and there’s absolutely no resources for us. I’m a living breathing example of a young omega who fell through the cracks.”
Hayes grinds his teeth together, knowing I’m talking about him, but I don’t care. I’m paying attention to everything, including the fact that I’m being more outspoken than usual, but Mr. Sullivan has never once told me to behave, just Hayes.
“So change it, my daughter,” Mr. Sullivan says. “I have a feeling if anyone could, it would be you, and I only just met you. Will you come to dinner?”
“Yeah, okay,” I agree, feeling as if I just gave up my life. I think this man is very good at getting the things he wants.
Caleb texts someone quickly, but my mind is reeling as the phone disconnects.
“Do you need anything from your apartment before we go?” Hayes asks as Mr. Lars comes running up to us.
“Where are you going?” he asks. “Caleb said your dad found you?”
“Yeah, it certainly looks like that,” I murmur.
“Fucking mob,” Mr. Lars mutters under his breath, his eyes raking over Hayes.
“Have a problem with that?” Hayes asks. ”Aisling, your father is influential and good at talking people into things. I really doubt you’ll be coming back to any of this.”
Closing my eyes for a moment, I try to ground myself. Too many things are changing, and it’s hard to keep myself from being swept away.
“I have a place that’s mine, I was going to do something today,” I rasp. I don’t want to talk about making a nest in front of these men as I open my eyes. It’s such an intimate conversation. They don’t need to know about it.This text is property of Nô/velD/rama.Org.
“What?” Caleb asks, peeking into my bags. “Sex toys, a candle, and a blanket. Aisling, please tell me you’re not going into fucking heat right now? God, I really don’t want to be having this conversation, but I feel like I need to.”
Hayes’s intense gaze is on me again as I shake my head. “No, but I turned eighteen today. There’s no way to know when my first one will happen. God, could you not go through that?”
Caleb’s hand flinches from a large knotted vibrator, groaning. “I’m not equipped to have this conversation, and may need to bleach my eyes now,” he says.
“You’re an alpha, Caleb, man up,” Mr. Lars grunts. “I’m glad you’re taking responsibility for your needs, Aisling, and understand this has to be awkward, so we’re going to leave it alone. I have a feeling this is goodbye for some reason, yeah?”
I want to tell him it isn’t, but I nod, heat burning my eyes that’s as warm as my cheeks are.
“Will you let Mickey and Orla know, Caleb?” I whisper. They’re both probably out for the day, and I don’t think I’ll see them when I go by the apartment for some of my things.
“Yeah, I will,” Caleb murmurs. “Take care of yourself, okay? You have our numbers if you need anything.”
“She won’t need anything,” Hayes sneers.
Rolling my eyes at his posturing, I nod. “Thank you,” I say. Giving them both quick hugs, so I won’t break down completely, I turn toward Hayes. “I need to go to my apartment, and then I’ll go to see Mr. Sullivan.”
“Better get used to calling him your dad,” he says, his hand heavy on my back as he leads me away. “My car is just up here. While Sullivan is a hardass, he really has been broken up about finding you. I wouldn’t be surprised if his bitch of a wife finds herself a shallow grave very soon.”
Shivering at the threat, I force my feet to take one step in front of the other. I committed to meeting my father, there’s nothing else to do but follow through now.