Chapter 031|I want to slap you yet hug you so tightly
Chapter 031| I want to slap you yet hug you so tightly
~ For when the cold winds blow,
I’ll close my eyes calmly knowing
I’m anchored to you.
“You miss him that much?” Tristan asked, leaning at the side of my locker.
I gave him a little smile not replying to his question while I searched for my chemistry textbook. Finding it, I put the damn thing in my school bag, zipped my bag and closed my eyes.
Everyone tells you that when you are heartbroken, you first feel anger, then it morphs into pain, an ache blossoms and transports you to denial which land you at your destination point which is numbness but what nobody had said was that you relive these conflicting emotions every single day that is stretched painfully and almost never ending.
It was a Monday. A day after waking up to yet another picture of Law and Titiana. They were in Todo Santos bay, and Titiana was dressed in a two-piece bikini wear that barely covered the essentials and Law in black shorts and nothing else yet I didn’t allow my eyes to rake his chiselled abs Because at that moment if I really knew Law Tyler and everything we shared wasn’t a lie, it looked like he’d rather be anywhere but with her. But she didn’t know him, didn’t know he had a hidden creepy need to play disgusting games with someone’s heart and mind when he was less busy. Or perhaps I didn’t know anything about him.
The next slide was a picture of Titiana holding up a surfboard which was totally ridiculous. Titiana couldn’t be a surfer, even though she gave up both legs and arms for it.
There were just some things that were unthinkable or inconceivable to associate with Titiana. Her manicures and pedicures that cost more than what I made at Morning Bli weekly in all those overpriced shiny med&ped shops couldn’t be risked just to ride a wave.
She wasn’t that kind of girl. She was way too fragile, too fake, delicate like a china ware or a doll and I was also aware that I had more love for dogs in my pinkie finger, (Just for full disclosure I hate dogs. Yes, sue me I don’t find them cute and probably the only teenager who isn’t smitten by their flurry body.) than she had for anyone in her entire body.
Yet, somehow Law was with her not me.
Because I had been too quick to trust him, drop my guards around him the minute he had told me he loved me, regardless of all the red flags, because who says I love you barely a week after spending time with you? It hurts, it infuriates, it made my heart ache and my head throb yet somehow when I see him from across the hallways, his eyes empty, his legs walking with purposeful strides that were lacking in his attitude, I could see how terribly I miss him. How much my world has quickly become entangled with him.
Mom asked about him last night. Ron had given me a get well soon card, which the “guys” had bought for him just in case I dropped by to see him. Katie had after asking me if Law had Siblings, cousins, best friends or just anyone who drove a shiny car like his, asked me for his username on Instagram and I’d written it with a sharpie ignoring the surprised look on her face and chastising look on Stacey’s who was probably wondering why I’ll give my supposed boyfriend’s username to a girl like Katie.
For her sake, even as I carried on taking orders I wished he was in no mood for harmless jokes that he prolongs for a week, professing love to you, making out with a girl who couldn’t stand you and then acting like you didn’t exist the next week.
“You know I do know how you feel but if it is any consolation Law is a big fool for jeopardizing what he had with you.”
“Is he?” I asked sarcastically just remembering that Tristan was still next to me.
I have heard the line countlessly from almost everybody and it was similar to the lie your mom fed you as a little kid telling you, you are a princess and the most beautiful girl in the whole world while you were just an average poor kid in a neighborhood where dreams go to die.
The fake comment was beginning to now sound like a taunt and I was beginning to prefer Nora’s, another background person who nobody gave shits about, who walked up to me and straight up told me I should be grateful that Law considered me worthwhile to play around with and had made me visible while at it.
Had it hurt as fuck especially since I didn’t ask for the damn attention that was turning into a nightmare? Yes, but in her defence, I was probably sure she didn’t know what it feels like to drop every shred of your walls, be peeled layer after layer, to feel and then to be betrayed, stomped on repeatedly and the “Law is a fool” lie was adding salt to injury because there was indeed an injury. A gaping hole at the side of my chest where my heart used to be.Content © provided by NôvelDrama.Org.
“Law Tyler who is shoe-in for prom King regardless of his lack of interest, elected student council president despite his refusal to take up the position repeatedly and also the most famous and desired mysterious bad boy is a loser for what exactly?”
“For choosing Titiana a dumb bimbo who thinks through her tits over a star student of AP calculus class, shoe-in for valedictorian, one of the most beautiful girls I have seen and that is one of the biggest understatements I’ve ever made, whose obliviousness to this fact still mystifies me__”
I couldn’t hold back my snicker at this point. I understood he was trying to make a good argument and all that but he really did take it too far with the beautiful line and all. Sure I wasn’t hideous but I wasn’t much to look at either.
“Yes, I am a loser and also a nerd. That I can admit. Shoe-in for valedictorian? That’s hilarious. I don’t know where this whiff of rumour is stemming from but it needs to be stopped immediately and the branch cut off.” I chuckled a bit at the thought of parents who were still gritting their teeth aware that their children were sharing a class with someone who lives among criminals wondering how they would react when they hear this amazing albeit fake piece of information.
It’ll be disastrous. Chaos I could tell.
I took a step forward shaking my head amused.
“And what about you being oblivious to how beautiful and perfect you look? Should I also chalk that which I could see with both my eyes to rumours? What stem should I cut off? The similar thought that is gnawing at the mind of the male population of the school.”
I turn to look at him expecting an amused grin on his face. I might be a little offended and tell him basic rules of what he should never joke around with and a woman looks top that list but the seriousness in his feature, his unblinking eyes.
I didn’t know if to be worried that he truly believed this or tremendously flattered.
Deciding that I was first Tristan’s friend I decided to go for being worried because if my brother Rob came home with a girl like me and sang all these praises about her looks, I’ll first check his eyes like I was checking Tristan’s just to make sure he was alright and not high on drugs or an illness.
I made to check his temperature next, but my hand was flung to my side by an angered Tristan.
“Don’t shit me, okay?”
I snorted mockingly, “I wish I was. I truly am worried about you.”
“Let’s test my theory, shall we? How many guys have met you today to ask for your contact just so they could check up on you? Knew you were still recuperating from a breakup blah blah blah___”
Essy. 6. But wait I thought, there has been Ethan after Jason, Drake who couldn’t get a word out and had just gaped at me the whole time which had felt creepy and weird. Then there was Ken a quarterback, Eliot the captain of the football team, Todd an expert swimmer, Roman with a face that made you think he was smiling Even when he was being serious and many more names I couldn’t keep up with. If I was being honest I think the truth was that I had stopped counting after 6.
“That means nothing. Girls too have been coming around to__”
“Mock you. Some of their words were laced with obvious derision. You didn’t wonder why they suddenly bothered to keep up appearances with you, exchange contacts with you?”
“Because I had somehow managed to catch Law’s eyes now they consider me competition,” I mumbled slowly and the statement ended up coming out more like a question.
“You’re so wrong and right at the same time. I want to slap you yet hug you so tightly. Look around you, this has nothing to do with Law Tyler who is a loser in every way but you. Beautiful, fucking hot, intelligent Prudence and the latest sensation in Evans high school and the biggest threat to every girl that uses this hallway.”
I stared at him for a while trying to look as serious as he did but failed because a minute later my laughter filled the air as I bent over and laughed hard at Tristan’s crazy words.
With the way things were going, soon the students of Evans high school would be making shrinks very wealthy.
I walked away from him still amused and chuckling at intervals as I walked.