chapter 30
chapter 30
I close my eyes and I concentrate on positivity, how life was before all this happened, when I had my
parents and their love was unconditional. How they were always there for me no matter what they held
my hand through it all until the very end. My mom was always wanting to do things with me. We did
everything together. She drove me nuts on how obsessive she was, always wanting to be right there
doing everything with me, and now I wish I would have left her alone and not given her so much shit. I
feel overwhelmed with emotion thinking about my mom. Tears start flowing down my cheeks and I snap
out of it. I lose all my concentration and just bawl. Damn it I am so mad at myself. I let my emotions get
a hold of me and I lost my concentration. Now I'm going to have to start from the beginning.
I hear a knock at the door. It opens and it's Beta. He says, “Please come join us for lunch.”
I ask, “What are we having,” with instant regret. He doesn't respond. Then I realize shit I'm only allowed
to speak at the table. Feeling dumb I know that I am going to be getting in trouble for speaking out of
turn because of his dumb fucking rules.
As we get to the dining room table I sit down. I say hi to Tonya, and she responds, “Good evening.
Lunch is being served.” I hurry and eat and ask to be excused. I've gone back to my bedroom.
I want to hurry and rush back to my room, so I can continue my meditation and concentrate on getting
Jazz back. The most important thing to me at this point in time. I sit down and try to relax, but I am over
excited knowing that I am able to bring Jazz back. My relaxation isn't going as I wanted it to. I am not
sure what I should be thinking about or even concentrate on, so, I try to think about my family and
being together as a family. My dad worked so much that he was not around very much, but he was still
an amazing dad. I know that he loved me more than anything in this world and I just wish that I got to
know him better like my mother, but his reasoning on not being home was always to make sure that we
were always taken care of. When I think of my parents sadness overcomes me knowing that I am
never going to see them again. I had such a happy life, but thinking about that life just overwhelms me
with emotion.
I get up off the floor and go into the bathroom. I decided to take a bath, so I turned the water on to
warm it up. As I am getting undressed I can hear the door unlock and the words, “I'm back my sweet
Sabrina.” I pretend I don't hear him and lay down in the tub. Of course, he barges in, and smirks at me This content provided by N(o)velDrama].[Org.
while I am laying in the tub. He then says, “Oh my God Sabrina, you are just so beautiful.” I don't
respond to him, I just nod my head not knowing if I'm even allowed to respond to him. He then starts
taking off his clothes and says, “Mind if I join you? Answer me Sabrina.”
I want to tell him to go to hell, but I don't. I want to be able to concentrate on getting Jazz back and not
dealing with consequences in the process of it. I respond, “Of course Alpha.” I throw up a little in my
mouth saying those words.
As he goes to get in he unplugs the tub to allow the water to go down and turns on the shower. He
reaches for my hand to help me to stand. He's never offered to help me with anything, so I allow him to
help me stand up allowing him to think he has any control of me. For now anyway until I get Jazz back
is the plan I guess.
As he put his hand on my waist I feel guilty for wanting to feel pleasure. He starts kissing my neck
down to my shoulder where he marked me. Over excited he starts caressing my breasts and a fire
lights up in between my legs. His hands trail down to my pussy. As he starts touching it I moan out the
pleasure is overwhelming. I don't understand how somebody I hate so much can make me feel so
good. All I want is for him to put his cock inside me and fuck me hard as I scream out and in pleasure
instead of pain. He is teasing me and getting me all wet for him which makes me sick, but the pleasure
is overpowering me. I don't know what making love is because I've never made love. I only know how it
feels to be fucked.
Then he whispers in my ear, “Sabrina, what do you want me to do to you?” I don't respond. I am silent.
Then he grabs my ass and says, “Sabrina, answer me. What do you want me to do to you?”
I turn around, and I tell him, “I want you to fuck me.”
He smiles and says, “That's my girl.” Then he bends me over and thrusts inside me. My body explodes
with pleasure as I scream out moaning as he fucks me hard. I lose control as I have my orgasm. I feel
relief.
I feel more relaxed than I've felt in days thinking to myself, “That's all I needed to bring Jazz back; to
lose to control.” I feel that my mind is going dark without her, and if I don't get her back soon that I
might even lose myself.
As I feel warmness going through me then I know he got off too. He kisses my forehead and says,
“Time to get cleaned up for dinner my sweet Sabrina.