Jack Of All Trades (Erotica)

A distinguished gentleman in a finely tailored suit moved to intercept the hooligan in the hoodie. Jack pushed the hood back and the man came to an abrupt stop, his eyes widening in surprise.

“Ambassador Danner! Welcome to Fitzhenry’s! I am the proprietor, Walter Fitzhenry. How may I be of service today!” the man said breathlessly. The other staff member who was cashing out the woman gasped and dropped something on the glass counter causing a loud clatter.

The woman turned and Jack looked into emerald eyes and took in the lustrous black hair hanging to her shoulders. She was his height and wore an incredibly beautiful smile.

“Diana?” he croaked.

“Jack!” she blurted in surprise and rushed over to give him a hug. Gee and Bal tensed but it was just a hug. To Jack it was a few seconds of heaven. Diana smelled incredible and she felt even better. To have that soft flesh pressed up against him was absolute bliss and he felt himself respond. Luckily she pulled back before she could notice.

“Jack, you didn’t call!” she admonished him with a pout. God those lips! He struggled to pull his mind back to the conversation.

“Well, at that time this was happening,” he said pointing up at his horns. “My brain wasn’t functioning too well.” He cast a shamed look at his security team but they studiously avoided his gaze. “Once I came out of the transformation I really didn’t think you’d be still interested in hearing from me.”

He was suddenly aware of the rapt attention of the two gentlemen. “I’m sorry Diana, please excuse me for a minute. Hello Mr. Fitzhenry. I am interested in a tuxedo for a banquet in two days’ time. I’d prefer to be able to take the tuxedo with me today if possible or at the latest I’d send someone to pick it up tomorrow.”

“Certainly sir! Any particular kind of tuxedo you had in mind?” Walter asked.

“I have to look my absolute best as it will be a rather historic event I understand. I leave the choice to you.”

The man was absolutely overcome with the honor being bestowed to him. “Roland! Close the shop and lock the door! We have a special customer to serve! Miss Haven, will you be staying?”

Diana looked at Jack with a smile and a raised eyebrow so he nodded. Her smile grew broader and Jack was once more drawn to her lovely lips. He gave himself a shake.

Roland locked the door and placed a sign in the window indicating they had closed early.

Jack took his hoodie off and the two men swarmed over him taking quick measurements. Then they moved off to make their selections.

Once they were alone again Diana turned to him. “Back to what you were saying. You didn’t think I’d want to see you again because of these?” She reached up and slid a finger along one of his horns.

He was still a little uncomfortable with strangers touching his horns and he didn’t know Diana no matter how attracted he was to her. He pulled back gently.

“I’m sorry, I meant no offense,” she said looking contrite.

“No, it’s ok. I’m just not used to people touching them,” he explained.

Walter had returned with a classic tuxedo jacket and pant set. “These should fit but we may need to take the jacket’s waist in as your shoulders are so wide and your chest and back are well muscled.” He glanced up briefly guessing what Jack needed the extra muscle for. Jack tried the jacket on over his dress shirt which he always wore open at the neck due to how wide his neck had become. He looked at himself in the mirror and smiled. He liked the tuxedo jacket quite a bit.

“You have excellent taste Mr. Fitzhenry! This jacket is gorgeous! I look amazing in it already!” Jack told Walter who glowed with pride.

“I am going to suggest something rather audacious,” Walter said with a daring look in his eye. Jack just looked at him curiously. Roland also perked up.

“Wear the tuxedo with the shirt open at the collar as your shirt is now. Add a bow tie under the collar but left undone. To find a standard shirt that fits your neck’s dimensions isn’t possible. You’ll need a custom shirt made for you. We can do that but it will take more time than you have. However, a nice crisp white shirt worn open and suggesting the formality of a bow tie will present an image of class yet showcase your rebellious nature!”

Jack faced the mirror and grinned at the man standing behind him.

“Yes, that sounds like me. Can I get the work done today?” he asked.

From the pained look on Walter’s face he had his answer. “Ah, I see. Will I be able to have it for tomorrow?” Walter smiled and nodded. Jack relaxed and nodded back.

The man rushed off the get things started. Jack turned to Diana.

“What brings you to the store? Gift for a significant other perhaps?” he said, attempting to sound nonchalant.

She grinned at him. “You ARE out of practice with smooth talking the ladies.” At his blush she chuckled. “No, I’m just arranging to pick up a new suit for my daddy. A present. He dresses terribly. We haven’t spoken for a while as we had a real blow out a while back. I’m trying this as a peace offering.”

“Wow! That’s quite the effort for a peace offering. Were you on the wrong side of the argument?” he asked.

“No! I- it’s just that he’s all the family I have and I don’t want to leave this fight between us.” Diana looked upset.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. It’s a wonderful gift. Truly,” Jack apologized. “If you believe he deserves this much effort I’d love to meet the man someday.”

Diana snorted then blushed in embarrassment at her outburst while Jack looked at her with eyebrows raised. “I’m sorry. It’s just, you’re exactly the kind of man my daddy would disapprove of. He disapproves of anyone who supports the interaction of Humans and Aliens. I think I can honestly say daddy would tell me to stay away from you.”

Jack was becoming uneasy with her constant references to her father as ‘daddy’. It rang his alarm bells and helped cool his ardor for this lovely woman. She seemed to pick up his change in attitude and her eyes widened in alarm.

“Not that I’ve ever listened to his opinion when it comes to who I choose to associate with! Honestly, daddy doesn’t control me. I have my own criteria for selecting suitable companions,” she said touching his arm with a sultry smile on her lips.

“If we are being completely honest, your use of the term ‘daddy’ is setting off my alarm bells. A past experience that didn’t end well for me. Something involving shotguns and first kin,” he explained looking her straight in the eye. She pulled her hand back.

“Queen Elissa! She’s on television and SHE’S PREGNANT!” Roland squealed excitedly. Walter rushed out from the back room to watch with a huge smile on his face too. They were obviously fans! They looked at him as Roland gestured towards a screen he’d just turned on. The scene was of the royal palace on Altaria where the Queen was giving a press conference for the upcoming Treaty signing. Though it looked like she was trying to disguise it she could not hide the little bump on her tummy and the news casters had quickly switched stories from the treaty to the surprise pregnancy. This was HUGE news and overshadowed a mere annual signing of a boring old Treaty with ancient enemies. The normally proper and civil press were knocked off their game by this sudden excitement and barked questions at the Queen.

In her state of imminent birth a regular press conference would have been a strain but now that it had turned into a feeding frenzy she quickly lost her composure and shrank back from the yelling. Karrel was standing next to her with a look of concern on her face.

Then the Queen’s water broke.

There was sudden stillness and silence as the entire press core went into shock. Then all hell broke loose as the medical team that had been waiting on the sidelines rushed in to collect their patient. The cameras pushed in close and Jack was watching Karrel help her mother to lie down on the stretcher. Elissa was becoming emotionally agitated and was crying out. The quality of the Altarian camera equipment proved its excellent audio capture technology when it picked up her next words to her daughter.Nôvel(D)rama.Org's content.

“Find Jack! Tell him our baby is arriving!”

Once more stillness and silence descended upon the press. This gave the medicos time to snatch the Queen to safety while Karrel stayed behind to deflect their questions.

The headlines under the image on the screen were frightening. The worst of them was ‘Queen carrying Mutant Earthling Baby’.

Jack must have groaned as everyone in the shop turned to face him including Bal and Gee but he only had eyes for the drama unfolding on the screen.

The press exploded and Karrel showed her regal fortitude when she stared them all down into silence. “I will give a statement then I will take questions in a civilized manner. Yes, my mother is pregnant and yes our Trade Representative and Ambassador is the father but there is NO need to be concerned for the mother or the child. It will be born healthy and completely Altarian. How do I know?” Karrel wore a huge smile on her face now but Jack was mumbling ‘No, no, no’ as she prepared to speak. “I know because I had his first child. ‘Alex’ is a beautiful male baby, completely healthy and completely Altarian.” She did something on her personal device and looked back at the press. “If you look at my social network page you will see the first publicly available images of our son.”

Jack groaned again.

“You had sex with an Altarian?” Diana gasped. Fortunately, she didn’t appear horrified by the idea.

“At least two,” Roland said. “WAIT! You had sex with a Queen and she’s giving birth to your CHILD! Does that make you the KING?” The man’s eyes were threatening to pop right out of his head. Yeah, this guy was a monarchist for sure.