Lie To Me

Chapter 16: 16

"You can't avoid her, can you?" I asked, my whole body is shaking. I don’t know if it was because of

anger or what.

But all I know is, I am disappointed and hurt. Again.

He has proven to me that he does not deserve all the chances and trust I keep on giving to him.

That thing that I repeatedly compose and give to her that she also repeatedly destroys and ignores.

How many more times has it been? Third? Or Fourth?

No, five more.

He proved to me five times that he could not change, that until now, that woman was still ahead of me.

That it is more important to say and think then than to think and say.

What he feels is still more important than how I feel.

But why?

Why after all I have given and done, I’m still lacking? I’m still not enough.

What else I have to do?

What else I’m missing?

"Love," All that he said.

He came closer to me, he wanted to hold my hand but I avoided him.

I don't know if I can still get him to come to me. Every time I think about those pictures I saw, how he

would hold that woman and he would hold me I hate it.

I resent myself because I feel like I'm sharing with someone I can't own. Contentt bel0ngs to N0ve/lDrâ/ma.O(r)g!

I wanted to hurt him but I couldn't get close to him. I don't want to touch her especially since I already

know that someone else is already holding her.

I was fooled once again.

"What? Answer me!" I shouted; I can't control my emotion anymore.

"I'm sorry. Sorry, Love." He answered.

Why is it always like this?

They will hurt us, and then when they are asked what their reason is, they will always answer "sorry".

Just sorry.

It’s exhausting.

"You’re always like this, I'm so tired,” I breathed. “I can’t do this anymore. We better off without each

other, we better stop this." I declared.

I exhaled.

What else is all this for? Why do I even try to fight this situation when in the first place I am the loser?

Five times. But even one of them did not prove that he could change. That of those five times, at least

once he would choose me.

Yes, it's up to me. You introduced me to his family and friends. I'm the one who knows all about his

'girlfriend'. But I'm not the one he's ready to tax everyone just to be with.

Not me.

I fixed myself and gathered my things. I'm leaving.

"Honey, please. I'm sorry. It won't happen again, that's the last one." He pleaded.

I shook my head.

How many times have I heard that? Over and over again but it still happens, his deception just keeps

coming back.

"I’m tired loving you, Russel. I don't know what your reason is for hurting me like this over and over

again. I've given you a lot of chances to prove yourself, but here you are, repeatedly proving to me that

I made a mistake again. " I said calmly and emotionlessly.

"Sorry. I'm really sorry." He was crying but that won't make any changes.

I have decided and that was choosing 'me' this time.

"I am sorry too, but this ends here. We are over." I said, leaving him permanently.

I have loved him the way I never thought I could. And that's wrong; I made him my everything when he

can't even make me his priority even just for once.

I know this will hurt me big time, but I also know that eventually, no matter how long it will take, I will be

able to move on.

No matter how long, no matter how hard, I know I will be fine. I will heal.

I know I can.