Not Your Mate Anymore

Chapter 35 Call Me Crazy

I have never seen anything like this. I mean I've been fighting before but my new family fought with such precision, their moves seeming effortless. Hunter would fight using both his human side and wolf, shifting from one to the other without breaking a sweat. He was in tune with his wolf and Anthony was no different.

He fought just like his father, shifting from wolf to human and back. Mother on the other hand fought with such grace. She stayed in human form, snapping necks but making it look effortless and moving gracefully as if she was dancing.

Then there was me.

I was just ripping heads off and covering my fur with blood. I was a huge red mess but I didn't care.

Okay, after seeing how the others were fighting, I cared. I cared because clearly I was trained to be barbaric and a wild animal when at war but Hunter made it look like a dance of tricks. He wasn't even breaking a sweat and I was hoping from body to the other, which was taking energy.

Lucky for me, I can heal and recharge right?

Right.

It looked like every wolf was trying to get to me more than Hunter or Anthony. I hate having to kill them but their loyalty was to Ethia and I made a promise to myself that I will kill anyone that looks to harm me or my family.

I made a promise to myself, to kill Ethia and anyone that stands in my way of getting to Ethia.

Xander was fighting too. My Xander, fighting alongside my mother as they work together with X in his wolf form and mother staying human. It was actually calming to see them get along in this way.

A big brown wolf bit my leg as I got distracted when Xander was tackled to the ground. The wolf bit his neck but my mother was able to kill the wolf before he could finish Xander off.

I shifted back to human form, killing the wolf that attacked me before running to Xander's side , kneeling beside him and seeing blood coming out his neck. Xander was lying on the ground with his body not healing fast enough.

When I'd try to heal X, a wolf would jump out to try and attack me. Mom could only fight off so many to cover me.

Hunter and Anthony also tried to fight off the wolves but it seemed like when we killed two then ten would appear from out of nowhere and attack us.

Xander was down and it seemed as if Ethia's warriors were multiplying.

I had to end this, my mate was hurt and I won't be able to survive it if another wolf comes to finish the job. I stand up, covering Xander with the fire inside of me for protection. I have roots come out from the ground, stabbing through every wolf that came at me while I ran, approaching Ethia.

Lightning strikes on each side with every step I take. I release a strong wind that tosses all the wolves out of my way, creating a clear path to get to Ethia. I start running to her but nana starts running to me. I have a root come out and pierce through her legs and bring her body to the ground.

It was me and Ethia now.

I looked into her eyes as she took a few steps back from me, fear radiating off of her in waves, only to bump in to my mother from behind.

I raise my hand and use my telekinesis to pull her closer to me before punching her, she tumbles back to my mother and mother kicks her back my way. She tries to punch me but a root comes out from the

ground, wrapping around her arm then on the other arm. A root pierces through her stomach, as I raise her up in the air and bring her down hard.

She throws a ball of water at me, u raise my hand and it goes through my hand and in to my body with ease, releasing a bigger ball of water that goes flying and hitting her with such force, her body flies to the other side. I run to meet her on the other side, where I let my claws out, catching her by the neck, sinking my claws in. I pull her head from her body, tossing her dead body to the side as I turn to face her warriors with her head in my hands. Her warriors growl at me for killing their goddess.

My nana screams holding on to her chest and I throw Ethia's head in her direction, watching it roll towards her. The warriors come running at me and I clap my hands and the warriors all go from wolf to ash. Leaving my grandmother, alone with us.

I immediately run to Xander, to see Anthony kneeling beside X, covering Xander's neck with his hands and within seconds, he was healed.

Anthony stands up and smiles at me.

"He'll be out for a bit but he's going to be fine." Anthony says.

Mother and Hunter walk up to where Anthony and I were standing, by Xander.

"You did well today kids. Sabrina, you haven't had training to fight like a first family member but you held your own. You have absolute control over your powers and it is amazing to see. You will make an amazing moon goddess." Hunter says to me, pulling me in for a hug.

We pull away after a couple of seconds.

It all happened so fast, my mother screaming, Xander yelling my name as he became conscious when the pain jolted him awake.

I looked down and saw a sword pierced through my belly, it was like silver but it felt magical as I felt it being pulled out from behind me. Someone had stabbed me from behind and when I turned to see who it was, Nana went on to insert the sword in to my chest, stabbing my heart.

Xander howled in pain as he felt it through the mark. I couldn't heal the wound in my stomach. Hunter pulled nana by his claws, shifting in to his wolf but nana disappeared before Hunter could kill him, leaving the sword on the ground. I could feel the blood seep out of me, as I placed my hands over my wounds.

I dropped to my knees as Xander quickly got up to catch me but wasn't fast enough. My mother kneeling down to take a look at my wounds.

"Heal Sabrina!" She kept shouting but I couldn't heal them. I looked at her, my eyes feeling droopy.

"I..I I can't..." I said before coughing out blood, falling to ground.

I could feel their emotions. The fear of losing me from Xander, the feeling of guilt from my mother and Hunter's anger. Anthony was frozen in place, his eyes locked on the sword on the ground.

I was scared too. I have never felt such helplessness.

Anthony picked up the sword, marveling at it. He held it as if it could hurt him too.

"I thought this was just a myth. Father, you told me this sword did not exist!" Anthony said dropping the sword and shoving Hunter away from me.

Hunter growled but mother quickly stood up, standing between the two men as Xander pulled me in to his arms.

I looked in to his eyes to see him crying.

"Sabrina I can't lose you too. I won't survive it, please baby." Xander says to me. He looks up at Hunter.

"I thought you said she was immortal!!" He shouted, a growl coming out of him right after.

"She is immortal." Hunter said.

"Then why can't she heal? Baby why aren't you healing?" Xander says and I smile at him as I feel the darkness calling to me.

Xander shakes me.

"No! No Sabrina! Stay awake. Adrastos is just a baby!" Xander says and images of my son flash through my mind.

I would never see him grow up. I won't get to raise him and now nana was somewhere hiding, she could kill him and I wouldn't be able to protect him.

I failed him.

"I I.. I .. failed.. you. I... failed... him" I said as I gasped for air after each word but Xander shook his head no.

"You've been everyone's hero. You've been fighting for everyone. This time, I need you to fight for you. You're still so young!" Xander said to me.

He kisses my forehead and then each side of my face. His body, covered in my blood.

"If anything, life has failed you. We have failed at protecting you when you've been protecting everyone." He said to me before darkness took over me.

I was in complete darkness but I could still feel Xander holding me. I could hear him howling as he projected his pain for all to hear. My mother shifted in to her wolf to join him.

Hunter and Anthony joined in right after. It felt like I was with them but I was also going further and further away from them. The darkness pulling me in deeper down in to complete darkness, death calling to me but I was trying to get closer to Xander.

I can not die. Xander needs me, Adrastos needs me. Xander was everything and I couldn't leave him like that.

I could feel his pain. His thoughts were only of Adrastos. My son.

Our son.

How could I do the same thing to my son that my mother did?

My son will grow up without me because I failed to kill the woman that threatened his life and now she killed me.

I turned my back for just a second and now I was succumbing to my wounds. The all mighty Sabrina, the strong white wolf.

The powerful shewolf that can bring men to their knees killed by an ancient sword.

I didn't even get the chance to be the fucken moon goddess. I unlocked a power that I didn't even get to use. The moon goddess lineage, ending with me unless Anthony takes a mate from our realm.

Who was left?

I had incinerated all of them. Ethia's entire army was done for, just like me.

I wanted so many things, see so many things. I wanted to see Xander live up to the promises he made to me. I wanted to watch my son shift in to his wolf and talk him through the pain. I wanted to watch him take on his role as alpha.

Xander kept shaking my body, trying to get me to wake and I was trying. My goddess I was trying. My eyes felt heavy, my body was rejecting my soul, evicting me from my own body. The body I've known all my life.

"Sabrina please don't do this. Wake up baby, I need you. Adrastos needs you. I just got you baby, please wake up." Xander said and I wanted nothing more than to comfort him.

My chance at love again. My third time is definitely a charm. The love that I desperately needed. The love that saved me.

We belonged together. It just worked and here I was dying, leaving him to be alone once again. Once again, he has to watch me die, like he watched his mate die.

Would he be able to avenge me? Why did people even have it out for me?

Was I so evil in my past life? Was dying the only peace I deserved?

What about my son? Did he not deserve a mother to raise him? Did he not deserve a mother's love? The true love only a mother could give?

Did my son not deserve a normal upbringing with a mother and father? He already had a broken home but now, the woman that birthed him would be gone from his life.

How was any of this fair?

My father. Losing a daughter was going to wreck him. How was he going to heal from this?

My Josey and Cj. Cj likes to act tough but I know my death is going to weaken him. We were close, as close as a brother and sister can be and more. He wasn't the mushy type but his love, you can see his love in his efforts, his actions.

And Josey.

Josey....

Josey is my twin, my other half. How was she going to get through this? She just lost her baby and now me? My death is something she will never come back from.

If anything, Josey was going to hunt down nana and kill her. Then she'd break down, for months. Josey and Xander will never be the same.

I don't want to die. I can't die.

Why would I want to hurt the ones in my life like this? I can't hurt Xander like this.

How can I abandon Adrastos like this?

I went deeper and deeper in to the darkness, I lost the feeling of Xander holding me. I could no longer hear my mother's cries or Hunter's howls of pain.

It felt like I was in the pit of my sadness. Being swallowed whole by the hurt I know I'll never be able to make up for when my entire family hears if my death.

I felt useless! Where was my great strength now? The big bad wolf was dead. I guess Green Forrest can celebrate now that I've met my end.

Does dying feel like this for everyone? Was everyone stuck in complete darkness, just thinking of their loved ones? If that's the case, I was going to lose it soon if I don't get out of here.

Then suddenly there was light a bright light that took over my space and I was in a completely white room. I looked around, seeing nothing familiar. I touched myself, feeling no wound on my stomach or my chest. I was in a white robe and looking down to see I was barefoot.

"Sabrina, I've been waiting for you." A female voice said and I turned to face the woman.

An old woman, grey hair but also wearing a white robe. She looked oddly familiar but I couldn't place her.

"Where am I?" I ask and she smiles at me.

"You're in limbo. Stuck between the living and dead." She said and it dawned on me that I had in fact died but my soul won't let go.

"So I'm dead." I said in more of a confirmation than a question.

"Well that's up to you. You didn't think we'd let you die so easily right?" The old woman said.

"Uhm we? I'm sorry. Who are you?" I asked.

"I'm the first shewolf. Your grandmother. I've lived for thousands of years as the moon goddess, I was happy to pass on my powers to you." She said to me.

I look at her waiting to hear a name. Age. Address. Nôvel(D)ra/ma.Org exclusive © material.

"My name is Sabrina too. You have a lot to learn about the first family my child." Sabrina senior said and I chuckled at her words.

"My life has been a mess. It's an even bigger mess with me being here. I broke a lot of hearts when I died and I have a son I so badly want to go back to so I'm sorry, a history lesson is the last thing on my to do list." I say and Sabrina senior chuckles.

"I was just like you when I was younger." She says to me.

"Ok grandmother, I need to go back to my mate. I need to go back to my family, I need to comfort my love. I know he won't be able to go on without me, he won't be able to survive losing another mate. My son, he's special. I love him dearly and I'd give anything to go back to him. To hold him and sing to him, I can't die yet. My son won't even remember me!" I say in desperation.

"You don't need to tell me. Like I said it's completely up to you if you want to live or not." She tells me. I sigh in annoyance.

"And how do I go back to the living? I'm in limbo remember?" I ask.

"You think I'd let you die just like that? As ancestors, We don't meddle in a wolf's life but after everything that you've been through, the blessings that you have missed, you think I'd just let things just end here? You have a purpose!" She says and a little hope blooms inside me.

"What do I need to do?" I ask honestly. Ay at this point, I was willing to do anything to be with my mate and son again. This distance was painful not being able to feel out Xander.

"You need to remember that you have a purpose in that life. You have a duty to every wolf, whether you have a life or not. Your duty to right the wrongs and set things straight. You're alone with me because I made it so, you are family so our blood connects us but there are many lost pups in limbo who deserve another chance at life and you need to see to it that it is fulfilled." She tells me.

She steps closer to me, taking my hands in hers.

"Your son is the key element to what will bring all wolves together, the prophecy cannot be fulfilled if you're dead. You need to make sure what was prophesied, comes to fruition." Sabrina senior says before kissing my forehead and disappearing.

"Okay, crazy familiar old lady with the same name? Where did you go?" I ask and in response.

"Just great! Fucken great!"I say in annoyance, folding my arms.

I was suddenly thrown in to complete darkness again but I could feel Xander again. He was still holding me, silently crying but his mind losing it. He was slowly breaking to the point of no return.

I had to get back to my man. I tried fighting through the darkness, trying to open my eyes but they felt so heavy.

Maybe I can try heal again.

I concentrated on healing myself, it took so much of me to heal my heart, mending slowly, taking chunks of my energy only to heal a small part of me.

Once my heart was halfway healed, I focused my energy on the big wound in my stomach but trying to seal it closed was seemingly impossible. I used up most of my energy to heal the little part of my heart,

I didn't have much left to heal my stomach wound.

I tried again to open my eyes, pushing through invisible barriers that wanted to keep my eyes closed. Using sheer will, using the need to save my love from losing himself as the power to open my eyes.

Seconds passed then minutes and after forever, my eyes opened. Xander had his forehead resting on mine, feeling tears fall on my face.

We were on a soft surface. My back felt mushy.

"Xander?" I said in a whisper. X froze before looking at me in disbelief.

"Sabrina?" He said and I nod at him.

"I could never leave you my love.." I say and he kisses me gently before pulling me in for a hug. I hiss in pain.

I had hardly healed my heart and my stomach wound was still there. Xander pulled away from me to inspect my body.

"You're not healed?" He asked.

"I don't know why but I can't seem to heal these wounds. I feel like a human." I say and X chuckles.

"You could never be a simple human baby." He says to me. His eyes were completely red from crying.

I place my free hand on his cheek,

"I'll always come back to you. I will always be by your side, you got that?" I say to him and he nods.

"Then don't scare me like that again. Sabrina, I'm a man but I'm not afraid to tell you how I feel. You're my entire world and there's not a day I want to spend life's pleasures or even displeasure without you. I

could feel myself dying when I thought you were dead. Sabrina, there was no saving me. I kept thinking of Adrastos because I had to stay strong for him but you are my life, I couldn't think of a life without you. I'll say it again, don't scare me like that again." Xander said before my mother walked in.

She stops in her tracks when our eyes meet. A smile forms on her lips,

"Hunter! Anthony!" She calls out and within seconds, the two men are standing in front of me. Their eyes looking red.

They had been crying.

Crying for me.

Xander pulled me closer to him and I closed my eyes to relish the feeling I thought I had lost.

Xander, we almost lost each other.