Chapter 17
Chapter 17
-Dorothy-
It was dark and chilly by the time the distant piano music faded away and Ignatius and I paused our
ethereal dancing. The inky black of the forest was broken only by the faint shimmer of moonlight
glinting off the fallen snow. Ignatius held me close, wrapping his arms around my suddenly-shivering
frame.
“We should get back,” he said into my hair as he buried his face in my locks. I felt his warm breath and
inhaled his intoxicating scent. I didn’t want to leave.
I wanted to stay forever in the dark, peaceful piece of magic that we had created. But even as we stood
there I felt the cold crawling under my skin and settling in my bones- making me shiver and quake
despite Ignatius’s stony arms around me.
“Yeah,” I said. My voice was mu fled by his chest.
It took a little longer to find the path back to the garden than it would have if it had been light. While
Ignatius’s eyes were just as good in the dark as they were during the day, my eyes were yet to adjust
themselves to the nocturnal behaviors of my inner-wolf.
Speaking of my inner-wolf, a small seed of concern was ni g g ling in the back of my mind. Shifters
were eventually able to speak with their wolves after their eighteenth birthday, after finding their mate.
I was yet to hear my wolf’s voice as opposed to merely feeling her emotions in my chest. as I had all
my life. It bothered me that we were still unable to communicate. I didn’t even know her name.
I wondered if it was because of Johan’s rejection of me. Could a wolf die and the human counterpart
live on? Would I never hear my wolf’s voice? I wondered if I would ever be able to take on her form
now that the bond with my mate had been severed.
I voiced these concerns to Ignatius as we struggled along. He caught me time and time. again as I
tripped over fallen branches and gnarled roots hidden under the thick snow. Despite the slow progress,
I was still having a good time.
I felt light and airy after our spinning in the woods and the blanket of darkness offered the comfort of
anonymity when talking about my deepest thoughts. I was aware that Ignatius could still see perfectly
fine in the darkness, but my own lack of vision was a comfort all the same.
Ignatius listened intently as I talked about my fears concerning my inner-wolf. He heard the hitch in my
voice when I told him I was afraid she would never come back at all.
14:52 Thu, 25 Jan Br
In the dark, he reached for my hand and guided me back onto the garden path that we had finally
reached. I saw the distant glow of lights from the windows of the villa as I clung to Ignatius in the snow.
I could barely see his face but I heard his voice at my shoulder as he guided met forwards, “I don’t think
you need to worry about your wolf, Dorothy.” He rushed to grab my elbow and steady me when I
slipped on the sleet that had gathered on the muddy ground.
Stopping me for a moment, Ignatius came to stand in front of me and crouched. He guided my hands
around his shoulders and I climbed onto his back. He stood up and gripped the underside of my legs to
hold my weight after I squeezed my arms around his throat tight enough to make him choke.
“I’ve got you, don’t worry.”
We trudged on like that for a while, with me on his back, before he spoke again, “I felt your wolf, you Content protected by Nôv/el(D)rama.Org.
know. Back when you were going through heat. I felt her howling. I felt her when you k*ssed me too.”
I opened my mouth to interject but Ignatius continued, “She’s strong Dorothy. You both are. No
rejection is enough to take her down. You’ll speak with her eventually.”
Reminded of our passionate moments during my initial first heat, I couldn’t help it – I ran my lips. along
his cool neck. Tasting his soft skin. I felt his hair stand on end when I did so and leaned my chin on his
shoulder, “I hope you’re right,” I whispered.
After Ignatius recovered from my antics he spoke again. His voice was calm but his words were laden
with a kind of wistful melancholy like he was gazing far back into the past, “I remember the moment I
first heard my wolf, Tor. I had turned eighteen about a week before. At first, I didn’t really like the guy
much.”
I could hear him smile as he said this, and I wondered if Tor had had something to say about that.
“But eventually he grew on me and we understand each other better now. The first time he spoke to me
was the first time I saw my mate. Afterward, Tor and I didn’t seem to agree on much, but at that
moment we both had the same thought; There goes the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. It was Tor
who gave me enough courage to approach her and introduce myself.”
I cast my mind back to the argument between Ignatius and Johan. Specifically Ignatius’s words; “I’ve
‘lost’ my mate.” I leaned my head against his and squeezed my arms tighter,
“What happened to her?”
Ignatius was quiet for so long I thought he wouldn’t answer me at all. Only the crunch-
14:52 Thu, 25 Jan B
of snow under his feet could be heard as we approached the lonely villa.
The snow had stopped falling now and the pathway was covered in a white blanket that shimmered
and glinted in the moonlight. Ignatius’s sudden response caught me by surprise and I jumped slightly in
my perch on his back.
“She’s dead.”
I didn’t know what to say to that. I had no idea what words could possibly be the right. ones. What do
you say to a loss that is so impactful? A loss so final and unthinkable. It wanted to ask more but kept
my mouth shut for fear of being intrusive.
I was surprised that Ignatius had disclosed this information to me at all. It would seem I was not the
only one who felt more comfortable expressing myself under the cloak of darkness.
stled i
I face in his neck and planted light k*sses leading up to his jaw. This collup of information felt intense
and personal. A fragile revelation he had entrusted to only me and the frost that lay around us.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered into his skin. “That’s terrible. I’m so sorry.”
I knew my words did nothing to soothe the pain that was rolling off of him in waves as I clung to his
back. I knew they would do nothing to fill the crevice that this had clearly cracked open in his heart.
Ignatius kept his eyes forward as he walked.
“We had been together for only two years by then.”
He spoke like he was narrating a story. Like this was someone else’s life and he was merely giving a
rundown of events that occurred around this other, younger Ignatius and his mate.
“We were inseparable. I was reckless back then, braver. I thought I was invincible and the power
behind my family name had gone to my head long before I turned eighteen. I thought I could solve
everything with brute force alone.
“I was unraveled and vicious. But Claire… she was kind. No matter the situation she would put me in
my place with a few gentle words. I never wanted to see her it hurt to know that I had put the sadness
in her eyes with my antics.”
upset,
and
I kept quiet as he spoke. Something in me understood that he needed this. That these were words he
hadn’t dared to speak out loud before now. We were almost at the villa and the yellow light at the front
porch shone like a beacon beckoning us home.
Ignatius’s voice was rougher as he continued,
“One night it was raining. Storming. We had been watching the lighting from our bed.
It was late and I got a phone call from a friend of mine. He said they’d seen members of a rival pack
traipsing around on our territory.
“Claire told me it was probably a bunch of teens mucking around in the rain. There were always overly
co cky pups from packs nearby who would trail onto our turf on a dare or to prove themselves in the
eyes of some girl they were trying to impress. It wasn’t a big deal. But my pride was too inflated back
then.
“My ego told me that this was my future pack, that I was going to be the leader one day. And to be the
leader I thought I needed to prove my status. Even if it was just to a few foolhardy teens.”
I shut my eyes. I could see the scene playing out in my head and it made my stomach churn like I was
going to be sick. “So you went out.”
Ignatius nodded tensely. “Yeah. Claire didn’t want me to go. I got angry. I told her to stay behind then if
sh
was so against it. But when she realized she couldn’t change my mind she insisted on coming with me.
She climbed into the car next to me despite me. telling her no. I was so worked up by then I didn’t fight
it for long. I just got in the car and started driving.”
Ignatius stopped walking and I could feel his shoulders shaking against me.
“I was yelling at her while we drove. Yelling to be heard over the rain and the wind but also because I
was angry. I knew she just wanted to protect me but I was furious anyway. She wasn’t wearing a
seatbelt. And I wasn’t looking at the road. I was looking at her. I didn’t see the tree in the road – they
told me later that it had been struck down by lightning.”
I touched my hand to his cheek and it came back wet. He was crying, looking down at the untouched
snow in front of him. His fingers dug into my legs as he fought to keep his voice from breaking,
wrestling with demons that I couldn’t see.
“She went straight through the front glass. Died on impact. I can still see her face right. before it
happened. She had been so calm, so gentle. Even while I was yelling at her she was still looking at me
with love.”
I gripped Ignatius in shock as he dropped to his knees with me still clinging to his back. I scrambled off
of him and ran around to face him. I got to my knees in front of him. and felt the snow melt into my
jeans leaving me soaking wet.
I held his face in my hands and the pale light of the moon twin kled as it caught his tears. Ignatius
wrapped his arms around me and buried his face in my chest without a
word.
I caressed his head and placed a small k*ss on the top of his head. His hair was wet with melted snow.
11:52 Thu, 25 Jan –
“It wasn’t your fault,” I whispered to him, but I knew my words were meaningless. This was a guilt he
had carried with him for a long time now. Nothing I could say would make it magically melt away like
the snow beneath us.
I held him there in the dark as he shook and choked back traitor tears. He finally lifted his head when
the cold had gotten to me so badly that my teeth were chattering and my fingers were ice against his
skin.
It was too dark to see much but I was sure they were turning blue. Ignatius noticed this. immediately
and scooped me in his arms as he stood up carrying me just like he had when we first met.
“I’m sorry,” he said h oar s ely. “You must be freezing.”
–
“It’s alright.” I fought to keep my teeth from chattering but it was futile, the cold was setting into my
bones and I was an icicle in his arms. “Ignatius?”
He looked down at me, his eyes were black caves in the darkness. “Thank you for telling me. For
trusting me.”
He said nothing and I couldn’t see his expression, but he held me closer and that was enough.
We finally arrived at the front steps of the villa. The orange circle of light cast down from the lamp at the
entrance was a welcoming sight.
My relief was quelled however when a figure stepped out of the shadows into that orange glow. Johan
stood before us, grief etched into his features. I knew immediately that this night was far from over.
“Johan?”
Even Ignatius was caught off guard and his voice sounded small in the dark.
Johan stared at the both of us, but it felt like he was looking straight through us,
in a daze.
his cyes
“Mavis…” he murmured – almost inaudible even on that silent winter night. “Mavis, she found h
mate.”