SAVE ME

Morgan Smith

There’s something that has been disturbing me for a while now and I really need to tell someone about it. Ann is for sure the best person for that, so I am currently looking for her since she isn’t in her room.

I thought I heard her come in from work minutes ago? Or has she left to get more groceries? I knew we needed to do more grocery shopping and I told myself that I would do that when I woke up from the short nap I intended to take earlier and it wasn’t a short nap.

I went down to the living room to wait for her and while I did, I watched a sitcom that I have been following for a while now, a bowl of popcorn is on my lap, and a can of soda is on the table in front of me.

“This guy isn’t serious” I commented on the behavior of the main character and how he was so slow in telling the woman he loves how he feels about her.

I put some popcorn in my mouth as I watched another character try to swoon over the woman he loves with a shake of my head “That ma will snatch her from you and you’ll not be able to do anything about it” I continued my ranting.

Just as the thirty-minute sitcom finished, I heard a car pull over and stood up to check to assume it was Ann.

I picked up the remote and just as I was about to switch off the TV, the news came on a reporter was reporting the event that just took place it was about a famous criminal that has been on the run for so many years.

“Reporting live from Alcidelty street, the police has finally nabbed Leaditro Alvec popularly known as Lepey from an enclosed meeting he was having with some of his gang members” she reported.

“Lepey is known for the many crimes which he has cunningly escaped punishment from over the years, he was responsible for the recent killing of the Heather family, the tanker explosion that happened last month which claimed live…”Belonging © NôvelDram/a.Org.

She kept talking of most of the crimes this man Lepey committed and the site where his crimes were operated, I looked at the different pictures that were displayed then one caught my attention and I froze. It was the picture of the site my mum had that accident, the bowl in my hand fell on the floor and the door opened.

Everything the reporter was saying didn’t get into my head as the new revelation went through my mind. My body felt like cold water was dumped on me, my hands shook, my feet rooted to the ground and my eyes teared up.

He was responsible for some homicides that happened over the years… definitely he is responsible for my dad’s death. He was the reason I and many other families are in pain. He is the reason.

My eyes were glued to the TV screen till it got blank when it was switched off. I turned my head to look at Ann who looked worried.

There were so many emotions running through me… fear, anger, sadness, but most of all pity… I couldn’t explain why but that was what I felt.

“Are you okay?” Ann’s voice was able to register in my head and I shook my head and then hugged her as hard sobs escaped my lips. “What happened? Why are you crying?” she asked but I couldn’t voice out anything and just kept crying “What you watched triggered something? Morgan, talk to me,” she said as she pats my back lightly.

“Ann…” I managed to voice out hoarsely “I… there…” I couldn’t say anything as I just kept crying.

“Okay, no talking… just try to relax, okay?” she kept patting my back and I started to calm down slowly. The sobbing stopped but only sniffled with tears running down my cheeks.

After a while, I lift my head to look at her and gave some space between us so that I can sit on the couch. She followed suit and sat beside me.

“Are you okay?” she asked, I nod in response and sniffled. “Do you want to talk about it?” she asked and I nod again. “Okay, look at me” I looked at her. “Take deep breaths in… let it out slowly… in… out” she instructed and I copied her then felt my body slowly relax from its rigid state moments ago.

“You cool?” she asked, I nod my head and she smile “Now, tell me what the matter is”

“I just saw how… who…” I took in deep breaths as I closed my eyes then released them and opened my eyes. “I saw the person who was responsible for what happened to my family and may other families,” I said to her and her eyes widen in surprise before they went back to their normal size.

“Okay, okay… how do you feel about finally knowing who did that to your family?” she asked and, in all honesty, I didn’t know how to respond to that.

I felt a bit chilly and shaken by what I just discovered now but I don’t know how to react to it honestly because I can’t even explain or put a name to the emotions swimming through me now.

“I really don’t know, I think I feel anger towards that person for what he did… my parents and sister weren’t his only victims but I feel angry at him for taking my family away from me.

Ann took my hands in hers as a sigh escaped her then caressed them lightly before offering me a smile, I couldn’t bring myself to reciprocate.

“it’s totally understandable to get angry at whoever did that to your family. They took the people you love from you and it’s totally absurd on their part.” She states “But, one question… being angry at him didn’t bring back your family even when he is now exposed?”

I shook my head in response.

“That doesn’t mean that they do what they did to me and those other peo-” I wanted to lash out but she stopped me.

“I know it doesn’t change that fact but do you think being angry at him is worth the headache and heartache it will cause you?” I bowed my head not being able to answer her.

Staying angry at that person or harboring hate towards him would not change anything, what has been done. My parent would not miraculously appear from nowhere and tell me that they are alive and well but it still didn’t change the fact that he mur– wait, now I remember what I wanted to ask Ann earlier.

“Your parents were murdered… did you know who did that? Were you able to forgive the person or people that did it? If you don’t know who did such, have you forgiven them? Since you got no apology from them?” I asked because I wanted to know, I wanted to know how she feels about knowing or not knowing the killers of her parents.

“I knew who did that to my parents and yes, I forgave them already. If in reality, I don’t know whoever did it, I will still be able to forgive the person and before you ask, it was when I found JESUS again that I was able to learn to forgive for my peace of mind and because my father in heaven ‘GOD’ wanted me to forgive”

I frown at that.

“He said and I quote ‘Forgive and ye shall be forgiven’, I learned that holding grudges would keep you helpless, sad, depressed and you will not have that peace of mind your soul wants”

I bite my bottom lip to stifle the sobs wanting to escape. “It’s not easy Ann” I bow my head and blinked several times so that the tears don’t come out.

“When is it ever easy Morgan?” she asked drawing closer to me and taking my shaky hands in hers. “Look at me Morgan” I looked up at her with tears clouding my vision, there was that never-ending smile on her face.

“You need to let it go, not for anybody but for yourself, for your peace of mind… it is never easy to let go of a painful past that turned our lives around but do you want to keep living the shadow of your past? The pain that your past holds?” she asked me and fresh tears dropped from my eyes down to my cheeks.

“Do you want it to gradually eat you up till you feel empty and worthless? Do I look like what I told you about me?” she asked and I shook my head ‘no’.

“That’s because I didn’t let the effect of my past eat me up. It has happened and there is no amount of thinking, stressing out, worrying or even crying that would go back in time and change those things that already happened. That is why it is called the past” she sighs.

“It already happened so you have to move on and learn from your past. Now my story was caused mostly by my stupidity and bad decision, yet GOD gave me a chance to live again, to find meaning to my life, to be happy and redeem myself” her eyes teared up but I saw how she tried to keep it in.

“You think I don’t have thoughts about what happened to me then? I do, sometimes I get dreams about them when I think too much about it but most times when I think about it, I thank GOD that they didn’t kill me. Here I am, telling of the Goodness of GOD to people” she smiles.

“It meant that there is still something out there for me… someone out there who needs to hear of my story so that their story can be changed too. Someone out there who needs the encouragement and the hope of a better thing ahead” another sigh left her lips.

“I bless GOD every day I wake up because he knows my story here in this world hasn’t ended and it is up to me to let him in so that he can help me find the remaining missing puzzle. The offender doesn’t always have to apologize before you forgive, you just need to, not just because you want GOD to forgive you of your wrongdoings but for your peace of mind” she said.

“You know, not being able to forgive people is a sin? It is and if GOD can forgive us when we ask for forgiveness, we need to. The men who nailed JESUS on the cross didn’t ask him for forgiveness but he asked that GOD his father should forgive them even if they were the cause of his death, he asked GOD to forgive them”

I am glad that I am not alone.

“Let it go girl, you’re built for better things” she pats my head and I let out a sigh.

“Thank you for being with me Ann” I whispered and she grinned.

“You know what I’ll say to that” I chuckled.

“Thank GOD,” we said at the same time before standing up together to get downstairs and make dinner.

Maybe she was right after all and it was time I let go and just let the past remain in the past. This shouldn’t be the thing to get me bothered.

‘You are built for better things’ her words sang in my ears.

“I am built for something better,” I said out loud, she looked up at me from cutting the onions with a huge smile on her face.

“We are built for something better,” we said in unison.