Chapter 100: Artistic Mystery
Chapter 100: Artistic Mystery
EMMA’s POV :
"Well, I wasn’t expecting to see you here.But, what a great surprise,"he chuckled lightly, pausing for a beat before saying, "How did you know I was here?"
"I don’t.I just happen to walk by,"I replied.
"Wow, fate must have a great sense of humor,"he smirked.
I hadn’t seen him in two years and I forgot how much his smile or his eyes had an effect on me.
Quickly, I averted my gaze.
I didn’t want him to know how much of an impact his presence had on me.
"What is all this anyway?"
I blurted, trying to sound as nonchalant as I could.
"It's an art exhibition, of course.My art exhibition,"
he said matter-of-factly.
"Yours? Wait, but how? I mean, what?" I was stammering like an idiot.
He stifled a laugh and said, "It seems like you have a lot of questions.You're lucky I'm on my break, I'll be glad to answer all of them,"
He took a step closer to me and I stepped back involuntarily.
My eyes darted around the room and I noticed that the exhibition visiting hours had ended.
The door was closed shut and it was just the two of us in that room.
Suddenly I felt a shiver up and down my spine.
"I don't understand,"I said to him.
"Why are you exhibiting your work here? You're not working in that gallery with Ally anymore?"
"No.As it turns out, we don't have the same vision for the gallery,"he shrugged as if it wasn’t a big deal.
That gallery meant the world to him, he poured out his time, heart, and soul into that gallery.
But here he was, making it look as if it was nothing.
"Why? I thought you two are..."
"Are what?"
"Together,"I said bitterly.
"No, we're not,"he shook his head.
"But, that night? You two were — "
"That night was a mistake,"he said firmly.
"I was ridiculously intoxicated and I was totally blacking out, I would've made out with a dude if he was in front of me,"he laughed.
"So, you weren't in love with her?"I had to repeat that again to make it clear.
"Fuck no,"he scoffed.
"We've been through this already.She was only a friend to me,"
He was shrugging and grinning, but I wasn’t amused.
That night was the night that scarred me for life.
I didn't understand, I thought he was being difficult with me because he wanted an out from our relationship to be with Ally.But if that wasn’t it...
"So, why did you break up with me then?"I asked.
"Because I thought you were cheating on me with someone else.But man, was I wrong about that too,"he rolled his eyes.
"Huh?"
"I saw you and your friend Tristan around your campus.I came because I wanted to apologize for the whole Paris program thing.But then I saw you two and you looked like you were kissing each other, so..."
' "Oh, that was..."
"Fake, I know," he cut me off, nodding his head and he said, "Your friend told me about it when I came looking for you,"
"So you knew I never cheated, why didn’t you try to get me back?"
"I was too late.You were already gone.And I've messed up so much already.I kissed another girl, drunk or not, that was an ass move.You clearly don't deserve that,"
It was starting to make sense now, all of it.
I remembered that day out on the quad when Tristan and I were pretending to date in front of Monique.
I knew I saw someone that looked like lan, but I thought it was a mistake.
Turns out, it was really him and he thought I was cheating on him.
Add that to the whole Paris thing, and Ally, and everything got all blown up to pieces.
"I know it’s way overdue, but I'm sorry.I was such a shit fiancée,"he said, and I knew he meant it.
His gaze was gentle and warm.Warm enough to melt my hardened heart.
"That's alright,"I smiled.
"I wasn’t a super great fiancée either.I should’ve been honest with you about the Paris thing since day one.I didn’t know why I was so afraid," lan smiled, and I mean really smiled.
He smirked and grinned a lot, but this smile was different from all of that.
It was this hearty, genuine smile that I didn’t see on his face often.
I was caught in a trance.
I couldn't move and I didn’t say anything else either.
All I could do was lamely stare at him.
"So, uh, what brings you to the city anyway?"he said after a while of silence, breaking the thick air of awkwardness. Belongs to (N)ôvel/Drama.Org.
"I had a job interview earlier...and then I was just talking a walk around the area,"
"A job interview?"
"For the New Yorker Magazine,"
"Wow, that’s great,"
"They said they'll contact me within a week,"
"That means you're in,"he said confidently.
"Really? How do you know?"I narrowed my eyes at him.
"If you didn't get in, they'll just tell you they'll let you know, but they wouldn't say when.
They said they'll contact you within a week because they already knew their plans for you,"
That made a lot of sense.
That also made me smile real wide.
I was really hoping I'd get that job.
This made it all the more certain for me."I suppose, congratulations are in order?" he said when he caught me smiling.
"Thank you,"
I had to bit my lip to stop myself from smiling too much.
His eyes were fixed on me and his gaze was penetrating so deep into my soul, I was feeling self- conscious.
I turned my eyes away again, looking at anything other than him.
"So, how are you? How have you been?"he said with his head cocked to the side.
"Not too bad.I’m graduating in a couple of weeks and I might have just got hired for a job in the New Yorker," I said as I walked around the room, examining all the other art pieces.
I was trying to be as casual as possible, if you didn't know that already.
"How about you? You don’t seem to be doing too bad for yourself," lan opened his arms out wide and said, "I’m elated.This is probably the highlight of my career right here,"
"What? An art exhibition at a school featuring all your works?"
"An art exhibition featuring all my works with my muse in the room,"
That word caught my attention.
I stopped moving and looked up at his face, asking him, "What are you talking about?"
"Take a look around.Who do you think inspired all of these?"
His hands motioned to all the art pieces all over the room.
My eyes glanced over the paintings and the installations, everything that he had made.
Basically, he was saying that I was the inspiration behind all of this.
Obviously, it was very flattering.
But I didn’t wanna be in over my head, and I wanted to appear casual, so I just kept walking around the room, taking a closer look at each and every one of the art pieces.
"What's this one? I don’t get it,"
I pointed to the big installation in the middle.
There were hundreds of glass bottles hanging from the ceiling and some of them were broken apart.
The piece was titled ‘277 Bottles’.
"Those were all the bottles it took for me to finally hear your name out loud without breaking into pieces,"
"What...?"I gaped.
"It was a rough year for me,"
"It was?"
I meant to say that to myself, but I had said it out loud.
lan just shrugged like it was no big deal.
Meanwhile, I felt a pang in my chest.
All this time, I thought he'd moved on so fast.
I thought he was happy being with Ally.
I didn’t know about all of this.
"What's this one?"
I turned around quickly, pointing at another piece.
My eyes were starting to blur and I didn’t want him to see it.
"That one’s inspired by one of those boards you see in the airport.I went looking for you the day you left.I was too late though, so..."
"You came to the airport?" I looked up at him instinctively, forgetting about the tears that were pooling in my eyes.
"Yeah,"he said simply.
"Why didn't you say anything? I thought you just gave up...so easily,"
"You were already gone and I didn’t wanna ruin Paris for you.Or to force you to turn around and come back for me,"
"Why didn’t you come to find me sooner? I've waited for days..."I choked, holding back the tears from falling.
"I was in the hospital.I was unconscious for days.I had severe dehydration, it was too much of these,"
he motioned to the glass bottles again.
Tears were trickling down my face and I hated myself for it.
I didn’t wanna stand in front of him and cry, so wiped them away quickly and turned around.
"What does this one mean?" I pointed to another painting, desperate to change the subject.
"That one’s a little embarrassing," he stifled a laugh, "I have a confession to make...I've been stalking you a little bit.Virtually, not physically,"
"What?"
"I've been following your social media.I saw the pictures you took or the pictures that people took of you, and one day I saw...some French guy posted a picture of a homemade meal and he tagged you and he said something along the line of ‘my girlfriend made me dinner’.
Anyway, I got jealous.
“You never made me dinner,"
"You should consider yourself lucky you don’t have to eat my cooking,"
I snickered.
"Nah, still jealous,"he shook his head.
"But that’s okay because that jealousy fueled the creativity,"
He started pacing around the room, pausing for a moment before continuing, "It’s interesting, isn't it? How one person can make me feel all these things and more.Everything this girl has made me feel, the highs and lows, all of them are here.Because all of them are important,"
"lan..."
Ignoring my warning, he kept going, "You know, Roman Payne once said, the muse is not an artistic mystery, but a mathematical equation.The gifts are those ideas you think of as your drift to sleep.The giver is the one you think of when you first awake,"
and suddenly, he stopped moving and turned to face me, saying, "That's who you are to me,"
"No, I...I can’t be all that.I'm not that great,"
"You don’t know this, do you?"
"Know what?"
"Baby girl, you are art..."
He said it as if it was a known fact.
And he called me by that nickname...
It was making my heart stir and my stomach tingling.
"..You are madness and chaos.You are fire and you are a flood.You're a perfect storm.You're New York City in the summer at sunrise.You're the green light at the end of my dock.Don’t you see? You're the muse, Emma, you're everything to me,"
"That was perhaps the greatest thing anyone has ever said about me.But all I could say in response was:
"..But why?"
lan’s lips twitched into a knowing smile as he said, "Because once I've had you, nothing in this world could ever feel that right again.I have never loved or will I ever love like that again...and I still do,"
..He still loves me...? My heart felt so full and so big.
Suddenly, all the feelings that I had felt for him, all the love that I thought I’d forgotten, everything was rushing back right in front of my eyes.
But my brain was quick to pass judgment.
I reminded myself that I shouldn't feel these things for lan again.
It wouldn't be right.
I was with someone else.
"lan, you know I’m with someone else now.So, if you're saying all these things because you're trying to win me back"
"Don't worry, I'm not,"
he said quickly, pausing for a second before continuing, "Well, I mean, I'd love to have you back with me, sure, but it’s not my intention to hold you down anymore.It was before and it was selfish of me.I projected my own insecurities out on you.But not anymore,"
I He held my gaze as he continued, "I don’t want anything from you, Emma.I do this because it’s the only way I can keep you alive in me.And that’s all I want, that’s enough for me,"
The fact that lan wasn’t trying to anything on me should bring me relief, but somehow it didn’t.
Taking one step closer to him, I challenged, "So, are you saying that if I leave right now, you're not gonna try and stop me?"
"No, I'm not gonna stop you.You can leave whenever you want, and you can come back anytime you want too.I'll be here,"
He was confusing me with his words.
There were layers after layers and the more I stand here listening to him, the more I would lose.
"I have to go.I have to get back, someone's waiting for me at home,"
I decided finally, and I took a step back towards the door.
"Okay,"he nodded simply.
"Good bye, lan.It was nice seeing you again,"
I had already turned to my heels when I heard him speak again, "Where's the necklace, Emma?"
"What?"I turned around.
"You gave me back the ring and the bracelet, but you never gave me back the necklace.The gift I got you on our first Christmas together,"
"Oh...I probably just forgot about them..."
"You forgot? Or maybe it’s something you keep because you don’t want to forget?"
I was frozen in shock.
I didn’t expect him to ask me about that necklace.
That necklace was my best kept secret.
lan stalked closer towards me and I didn’t do anything.
My brain was telling me to run, but my heart was telling me to stay.
Finally, he stopped when he was less than an arm's length away.
He was so close to me, so dangerously close.
I could smell his delicious scent again, and it was sending my brain into oblivion.
Inching his face closer to mine, his lips brushed my ear as he whispered, "I’m not gonna ask you to stay, but I might try to kiss you,"