The Bad Boy’s…What?

I watch terrified as Drew and Adrian roll around on the ground, grass stains and dirt clinging to their clothes, not that they care about their ‘fashion don’ts’ right now. My body stands paralyzed as both guys try to land a punch on the other. I wince as they each manage to get a few hits. I notice Kohl standing off to the side in my same state of shock, snapping me out of it.

“Kohl, help me stop this!” I yell over the guys’ curses.

“Uh, I got twenty bucks on Drew,” he states as he reaches for his back pocket, pulling a twenty dollar bill and slapping it down on the table he had been setting.

“You knew where my sister had been at all this time?” Drew’s voice booms as he hauls Adrian up from the collar of his leather jacket.

“Calm the fuck down because you are acting irrational now,” Adrian states calmly, looking the bull directly in the eyes. That is one fearless dude.

“Why the hell did you not tell me?” Drew blatantly ignores Adrian’s reasoning.

“Oh, forgive me for not announcing it so freely, only managing to add more to the crap you call your life right now, it’s not like I wasn’t going to tell you at all,” Adrian states not breaking eye contact.

“Does Sammy know you’ve been staying at another girl’s house, huh?” Drew tightens his hold around the fabric, bringing their angry faces merely a breadth away. I hope they brushed their teeth, but I shouldn’t really be thinking about that right now. Adrian’s face flashes with pure anger and disbelief at Drew’s insinuation, as strong as lightning breaking through the dark skies.

“Come on Drew, you know Sammy’s got no fucking competition. Get your damn mind out of the gutter. Do you even realize who you’re acting like?” Adrian sneers. That statement has Drew going completely off his hinges, his eyes almost seeming as dark and cold as a midnight, gloomy sky blanketing an eerie forest.

“You’re seriously going to compare me to that fucker right now?” Drew sneers, morphing into a complete stranger. If I thought that Drew was scary before, this is an eye opener. I gasp audibly as he throws his arm back before ramming it into Adrian’s face. I watch in horror as blood trickles down Adrian’s now broken nose, not that, that seems to stop the unflinching bad boy.

Who was Adrian comparing Drew to? It must not be good to get a reaction like this, like waving a red flag in front of a bull.

“Is that all you got, come on Drew, I know you can do better than that,” Adrian taunts, should he really be baiting Drew right now while he looks like that? I step closer to the duo, Kohl nowhere to be seen now, and grab a hold of Drew’s arm just as he was about to land another punch.

“Stop,” I whisper, not daring to raise my voice startling the beast. I flinch as he shakes me off roughly and pushes Adrian back, whom I step close to. For some reason, and I never in a million years thought I’d say this, I feel safer with Adrian right now. Though, his state doesn’t seem very protective right now, more like someone should protect him.

“How long did you know?” Drew directs his blazing glare towards in my direction as he steps closer to me.

“About?” I look towards the ground, not liking the way his eyes stare at me now. Their usual curious thirst or that sly smile they crack nowhere to be seen now. Nothing but anger flashes through those orbs, but can I really blame him?

“Hm, I don’t know, how about we start with how long you knew Lucy was mine?” he seethes closer now.

“Watch yourself, you’re fucking scaring her,” Adrian states in a firm tone as he steps in front of me. Yes, Adrian, defend me while you have a bloody nose.

“Get out of the way,” Drew’s hard tone is, well it’s pretty sexy dare I say it, but yeah, scary, very scary. And I thought I looked scary enough to kill when I wake up in the morning, life just proved me wrong. If Drew were some sort of awesome freak with heat vision, Adrian and I would not have time to say ‘goodbye’ to life as we faded into ashes.

“Nope,” Adrian pops his ‘p’ childishly, yes Adrian, anger the beast even more now, why don’t you? I raise myself slightly on my toes to watch Drew’s reaction, let’s just say that his eyes flashed faster than a pissed off werewolf.

“Get out of the damn way Adrian,” I watch as both of them have a stare down.

“Oh god, they’re at it again,” I hear Lucas’s voice as the backdoor opens.

“Told you they were beating the shit out of each other,” Kohl points to Drew’s now blackening eye and Adrian’s bloody face.

“Oh god, not again,” Sammy groans as she pops up behind the newcomers and strides towards Adrian.

“What happened?” she turns her petite figure towards a still Drew, before placing her hands on her hips. I’m assuming to give him a no nonsense look.

“They fucking lied to me and what the hell are you doing here?” Drew finally answers, backing away now that his sister, or should I say one of them, is now apparent.

“Kohl called us over here claiming that shit was going down and to hurry over here before missing the match,” she explains while walking back to Adrian and inspecting his face from side to side. I think she’s used to violence with these guys.

“You’ll be fine, and what have I told you about baiting my brother? One of these days I’m going to dump your ass because I can’t stand to look at your bruised up face,” she scowls pushing his head away roughly. This is so not the moment to laugh as I watch the edgy bad boy be talked down by his small girlfriend.

“Can we get back to the matter at hand right now, you, how long did you know?” Drew points at me as he moves closer. I take a step back in fear of his imposing figure. I think the guys had the same idea as Lucas, Adrian and Kohl flank me on each side, while Sammy just looks around in confusion. Clearly not knowing what the hell is going on.

“Since you first came here, I, I recognized your voice at first, from that night. But then I looked at your eyes and they’re so alike, I thought you were her father,” I explain nervously. ‘The truth will set you free,’ that’s a bullshit lie as Drew’s eyes seem to darken in even more anger. He clearly does not like to be made a fool of and that’s what it seems like.

“Wait, what are you guys talking about?” Lucas asks, finally noticing the seriousness of this atrocious situation. Bless your soul Lucas, I praise as his question diverts Drew’s unwanted attention from me.

“Oh, it’s funny really, you guys wanna tell them or should I?” Drew waves off with a menacing smile.

No one speaks. I walk towards the backdoor as I notice Claire wave me in from the small window. I say nothing but give a small smile as I take a smiling Lucy from her arms and head back out with the baby now in my arms. I see Kohl give me a sad smile as he notices the bundle I now clutch tightly. Lucas furrows his eyebrows as his eyes narrow skeptically, unwilling to believe that I’m holding Lucy. Sammy turns to look at Adrian questioningly, he merely nods and she’s the first one to step closer. She gives me a small smile as she grabs Lucy, and I reluctantly let her go.

“You had Lucy?” Lucas asks as he steps closer and holds the baby for a while. It’s a bittersweet moment, this time and place right here. Where a family is reunited with a loved one, and where I lose one of those I love. I watch painfully as the tight knit group crowds closer to the unknowing child. I watch as Sammy’s face lets out a small tear as pure happiness extends through her features. The way Lucas steals Lucy again and hugs her close to his body. I watch as Adrian cracks a smile on his usual stony demeanor and the way even Kohl smiles bitterly at the moment.

They all stop in a sudden movement, the crowd parts and Sammy steps up, closer to Drew. The way Sammy beams at him as she places a smiling and calm Lucy in her older brother’s hands will forever be engraved in my head. We all simultaneously look away as one lone tear cascades down Drew’s cheek. I think this way we’ll all be able to say we never saw Drew cry. The laughter that escapes his form a while later has us looking back, I smile as the mystery bad boy laughs and caresses the baby’s small head in disbelief.

“She kept her safe Drew, and you handed the baby to her, if anything we all owe her,” Adrian finally speaks up, looking back to give me a small smile.

“She’s got my awesomest nerd vote,” Lucas raises his hand like a kid. Drew turns to look at him with a look that even I can clearly read, ‘what the fuck?’

“Mine too,” Sammy smiles as she loops her arm through Adrian’s, who only smiles down caringly at her.

“Fine, thank you for protecting Lucy, but now that we have nothing keeping us here, you won’t be seeing us much. I’ll be leaving now,” Drew turns around with the baby in hand. I feel my heart constrict as Drew walks away with a part of my heart in his hands, not even sparing me a second look. And, that’s why everyone’s weary of his anger, I see that now.

My brother pulls me into his arms as I finally let out a tear at Drew’s retreating back. Lucas and Sammy turn to give me apologetic faces as the one tear turns into a broken dam, bursting as I turn my head into my brother’s chest. His comforting hand rubbing my back not lessening the pain I feel as I watch how a now part of me is taken away. I feel Kohl handing me off to someone, new arms wrapping around me. I look up into Lucas’s sympathetic brown eyes as he now holds me.

“Drew, you can’t just permanently remove Lucy from Khloe’s life, she’s been her mother all this while,” I listen as Kohl pleads.

“Lucy is my sister and my responsibility, I’ll have a check made out for your services,” I hear Drew’s cold voice snap.

Ooh, I really hate yo ass right now, yes, I just went Cee Lo Green on him.

“Don’t be an asshole, D,” I hear Sammy’s voice lose its cheeriness.

“We’re leaving, let’s go,” I hear the command loud and clear but I hear no one moving. Nothing but Drew’s angry footsteps as he moves, further and further away, much like my sanity right now. Now I know what they mean when they say ‘love makes you crazy.’ When you lose it, your sanity drifts away with it. I let out a strangled sob as I try to tell them to let it go, she belongs with them.

I pull away from Lucas and smile reassuringly at him as I motion for him to follow Drew, his loyalty should lie with him and not me. He gives me one last squeeze before going after Drew. Sammy glares at Drew’s back as she debates on what to do.

“This isn’t over, trust me, we’ll make sure to come back with Lucy,” she smiles before giving me a hug and chasing after her brother.

“You’ll be alright while I’m gone, I gotta deal with the after math, but I promise you, that Lucy will be back in your life. I still got a couple of cards up my sleeve, trust me,” Adrian smirks and once again pats me like a dog, is this how he comforts Sammy? Poor her. I don’t even smile at his words, not knowing whether I should believe them or if he’s just trying to make me feel better. With one last glance, he follows the exiting group plus one new member while I stand there as my heart is shattered to pieces.

This reminds me of the time when my parents died, when nothing seems like it will get better, when even the sunlight seems to piss you off, as you watch the world continue to go on. While you’re still wondering if it’s worth it, if the hole in your heart will cover itself up? Kohl’s arms wrap around me as I now realize that I’m crying my eyes off. Kohl doesn’t say anything as I fall to the ground on my knees, pouring my heart out. He knows that nothing he says will make life better.

I say nothing as the sobs quiet down and completely stop like the beating of my heart, and my older brother carries me into the house. I motion for him to let me down as he stops at my bedroom door. I send a miniscule smile his way in fake reassurance that we both know, nevertheless, he takes it and leaves me at my door. I breathe in a large gulp of my air as I feel my lungs contract, it feels as if my body has lost all oxygen.

Instead of heading inside the comfort of my room, I walk down the hall. Not knowing where my feet are taking me in my mind, but my heart seems to be made up. Another sob erupts as my parents’ closed bedroom door comes into view. With a new set of tears I open the wooden contraption and step inside the familiar room. I inhale deeply, their intoxicating scents seeming to linger in the bedroom. My father’s woodsy cologne reminding me of the times we spent together outside, the floral scent of my mom’s perfume adding to her captivating persona.

I grab their picture frame that sits on the bedside table as I drag it with me on their bed. I hug it close to me, as if they were really here to provide their warmth and comfort that I freaking miss so much. Before my life all seemed to go to hell, before my sadness made me look like a raccoon, which is what I’m pretty sure I look like with my tears ruining the little bit of make-up I placed on my face. Their presence letting me know that things get better before all I want to do is plunge in a bucket of Nutella and penetrate my eyes with nothing but pictures of Nicholas Sparks’ movies.

I let my sadness take over and my tears blur my vision as thoughts of another loss creep into my mind. It’s so easy to get attached to children, their innocent souls like a call to those of us who already know more about the cruelties in the world. Their presence making the world seem a better place, if only for a little while. Lucy was a beacon of light that mended itself into my life, the solitary existence I was used to. If fate hadn’t taken its cruel course and given me Lucy, would Kohl even be back now? Not only my family, but Lucy brought in a new set of people into my life.

Adrian, who I actually wanted to unload an AK 47 on when we met, now that I know he’s not as bad as he seems will be missed. Sammy, whom apparently can keep Adrian on check, the bubbly girl that seems too nice to be in this situation, we could’ve grown to be good friends. Lucas with his over flirtatious personality, yet he has a wicked sense of humor and intelligence if you actually got to know him, and lastly and right now least of all, Drew.

I’m so mad at him right now that I could write an Adele song just for him. What would have happened if we actually became friends? Nah, in another life we would have never crossed paths. What will it be like to not have his imposing frame stalk me around school, his stupid stare not giving me urges to empty my bladder? I think the question I’m afraid to ask myself is, why do I get the feeling that apart from Lucy’s absence, why do I feel a slight pang at not ever seeing him again? No, his presence will just be cause for more Adele songs and one or two Taylor Swift, like right now. I so knew he was trouble when he walked in.

My tears seem unrelenting in sadness and fear at what I lost, but also in happiness at what I got to experience. I jump startled as a loud banging sound resonates through the room. I look in the direction of the loud echo, over the pounding of my heart. A book lies on the ground at the foot of the dresser. I get up and crouch down to pick up the leather bound book. I remember this book, my father used to carry it around all the time. He’s the reason I love to read, he told me once that this book inspired him when his third attempt at starting his own business failed. Yet, I never read the book.

I caress the title less cover, the old wearing leather feeling nice under my fingers. The spine is visibly wearing as I know how many times my dad opened up this book. I’m scared to open the book, not because of what I’ll find, but at the thought of possibly deteriorating something that was held so dear by my father. With a breath of courage, and a little cowardice as I close my eyes, I open the book. A laugh manages to escape my lips as I finally look down and read the first page.

‘Empires collapse,

Civilizations disappear,

Health deteriorates

And bodies turn to ash,

But life will always go on,’

– Mouloud Benzadi

I heard my father say these exact same words while giving speeches at a business banquet, or for when he was trying to settle things between Kohl and I. When Kohl broke my stupid My Little Pony, he gave me this same speech so that we’d stop fighting. When I never relented he left the house, came back an hour later and threw a large box in Kohl’s direction. Told him he had an hour to build it or he was going to be in trouble. I laughed as I watched Kohl go out of his head trying to build the purple My Little Pony castle. Nevertheless, the castle was standing tall and proud by the time the hour was up, it collapsed as soon as I place the stupid horse in there, but hey, a sturdy contraption was not part of the deal.

I clutch the book tightly with the picture frame a small smile lights up my face before I slip into sweet oblivion. My dreams transporting me to much simpler and happier times, where death hadn’t been a factor and the only loss I knew was Kohl getting lost as he chased after an ice cream truck.

The sunlight streaming wakes me up the next morning, my eyes feeling heavy as the sorrows of the day before made their presence known. I try to get up from the bed as nature begins to call. I swear I got a bladder the size of a peanut, trait I’m pretty sure I got from my mom, according to my dad, of course. I turn only to realize I’m blocked as Kohl’s stinky foot is all up in my face, his body half off the bed. I smile before throwing him off of me, hurrying to the bathroom.

I come back out and actually manage to smile as Kohl’s face is snoring on the floor, the brunt of the fall not even stirring his sleep. I smirk evilly as I walk around the bed for the glass of water on the nightstand to pour on him, the smile dies as I trip on air and land face first with his feet. At least my crashing body woke him up.

“Hey, you feeling better?” he asks with a yawn as his calloused, piano- playing hand rubs his eye.

“Yeah, a bit, how’d you find me?” I ask referring to the fact he knew I was in our parents’ room.

“We’re twins, it’s the telepathic connection Khloe,” he points to his head.Content rights by NôvelDr//ama.Org.

I give him a flat look.

“Where else would you be, Lucy’s loss must’ve reminded you of them,” he sighs as he gets up from the floor before hauling me up with him.

“You gonna go to school today?” he asks, his blue eyes sympathizing with mine.

“Not today, you go ahead, I’ll just stick around here,” I wave him off. He nods before stepping out of the room to get ready. I head back to my room, trying to desperately ignore the door I pass to get to mine. I sigh in relief at the comfort of my room. I head to my own bathroom to wash away the dirt off my skin, if only I could wash the sadness as easily. I let the cold water numb my skin, if only it’d numb my heart to these earthly feelings.

I finish getting ready in complete and utter silence, no music to get me ready for the day. I head downstairs to find a crestfallen Claire and a quieter than normal Roger, no one says anything as I barely eat a piece of toast with a glass of orange juice.

“You need anything?” Roger finally speaks up.

“A tub of chunky monkey and a gallon of Nutella,” I nod looking ahead. I’m going to pig out and watch movies, scary movies. I’ll pretend Chucky’s knife went through Drew’s cruel heart. I guess I’m a bit bitter. I head up to the theater room, its darkness enveloping me and I welcome it. I put in a collection of scary movies and merely smile in gratification as Roger brings me my ice cream and chocolate. I stay cooped up in the theater room all day, Kohl comes back takes a look at my uncaring frame and leaves while muttering something about cutting Drew’s balls off. I couldn’t really tell, maybe that’s just what I wanted to hear.

It goes on like this for the next three days, no school, just my wallowing in self-pity. Nothing seems to break through me, not even Channing or Alex in Magic Mike, I can still speak that the magic was very much present though. Kohl seems to feel some of my pain through the supposed twin connection as he joins me in the evenings, just watching movies with me. The only way I leave is to shower, change, get more food, and occasionally sleep.

Thursday approaches fast, and my upcoming birthday on Sunday does nothing to lift my beaten spirits. Not even Roger and the catalog of cars from which I’ll choose my new ride from. They just remind me of the way Lucy can’t ride them because of the safety hazards. Just another day in this cruel life and I’m seriously low on ice cream and cookies. I hear some shuffling behind me, I assume it’s Roger so I don’t bother turning around.

“I’m gonna need some more chunky monkey and cookies, please,” I ask with my eyes still glued on Freddie Prinze Jr. on the screen in, ‘I Know What You Did Last Summer.’

“You’re beginning to look like a chunky monkey,” an all too familiar voice taunts.

“What the hell are you doing here?” I snap as Adrian creeps out of the shadows.

“My, my, my, what a warm welcome, here I thought we were bffs,” he teases but I’m in no mood for jokes. I just continue to look at him with no mirth present.

“Fine, fine, I can’t believe Kohl was right, you are fucked up. Well since you haven’t been going to school, I thought I’d come check on you,” he smirks as he plants himself on a couch. I jump onto him as he grabs one of my cookies.

“My cookie,” I remark as I eat in front of his face with a grunt before going back to my seat.

No one eats my cookies.

“Okay Shrillsbury Doughgirl, chill, I came here to offer my moral support or some crap. You need to get off your ass and get back to life, I already told you we’ll get Lucy back, she belongs with all of us. I already have it figured out, but I’m going to need your help,” Adrian states as I continue to stuff my face.

“No, she belongs to you guys, I don’t matter,” I mutter around a mouthful of cookies.

“Well too bad nerdy, you’re in this already, plus things are about to get rough for you. Drew’s being an ass right now because he hates when things don’t go his way, Lucy’s been giving him hell. I think she misses you, and frankly he’s not doing so well either. I mean he hasn’t hit rock bottom like you but close,” Adrian looks at me in something akin to disgust.

This is his moral support?

“No, I’m doing perfectly fine,” I raise my chin indignantly.

“Hate to break it to you but you have chocolate all over your fucking face,” Adrian states none too nicely.

“And you have mean all over yours,” I retort childishly.

“This is how you’re going to prove you love Lucy, by doing shit?” his voice takes on a crueler tone.

“No,” I mumble looking down like a scolded child.

“Are you gonna go fix your appearance so we can go to school?” he yells like some form of life coach. I hate to say it but it’s working.

“Yes,” I scream back, jumping onto my fuzzy sock clad feet.

“Then you go back to your room and fix your face so we can be on our way,” he states before walking out of the theater room. I walk out and run up to my room doing as he said. I did look like a mess. In no time we’re on the road and on our way to school. Nervousness has me fidgeting in my seat, annoying Adrian.

“Look, we have Sammy’s and Lucas’s support, now we just need to give Drew no choice but to see things our way. You’re going to have to cut that shy act and be a hard ass, okay?” I nod in answer.

Hardball, I’ll be like a pit-bull.

“Now I didn’t say look constipated, I said look tough,” he remarks. I wipe my face clean of all emotion, he nods approvingly before getting out of the car as we pull into the parking lot.

I walk confidently by his side, his support doing something to me. Giving me a much needed boost, I smile a bit before wiping it off my face. Damn, now I have to fight off the smile, completely throwing me off my mojo. I debate within myself as how to keep my tough façade, causing me to only trip on air again, landing face first in a trash bin. I faintly hear Adrian’s laughter as I dig my head out of the trash can, only to meet blue eyes as I finally manage to pull my head out. That coldness still very much present, but the lighter shade of his eyes letting me know he finds the situation amusing and he’s currently trying to fight it.

Drew tries to fight off a smile as a banana peel falls down my head to the ground by my feet. I got all cleaned up and motivated for this. Adrian’s laughter is not appreciated. I try to stomp off and out of sight, bad idea. I only end up tripping on the discarded peel, making me land on my butt on the hard tiled floor.

Khloe, a coordinated person you are not.