Chapter 29 - Mira
There's nothing but darkness ahead of me. I can't see anything behind me, nor can I hear or smell a thing. But something tells me to move forward, towards the red light glowing in front of me. Flashes of memory allude to something bad happening to me, but I can’t remember what it could be. Right now I feel no pain, no worries or stress, or any obligation to anyone. It's warm and comfortable; I don't want to leave here, I just want to close my eyes and float.
“But you have to leave, Mira,” my eyes snap open when I hear a voice echoing all around me. There's still darkness everywhere, not oppressing but refreshing, but I am being pushed forward toward the glowing red light.
“That's it, Mira, follow my voice...”
Why does this voice sound so familiar? Who is it? I try to call out to it, but when I open my mouth, nothing comes out.
I have to move forward, I need to get to them and see who that person is. My heart clenches and I feel tears slipping down my cheeks the more I try to get to that voice. That person cared about me, I know they did - I can feel it!
Almost there...just a few more steps...
I burst out into what seems to be a familiar meadow, an open space filled with poppies, daisies, and lavender, surrounded by trees and low bushes. There's the smell and sound of a stream somewhere not too far, and in the middle of the open space is a fallen tree.ConTEent bel0ngs to Nôv(e)lD/rama(.)Org .
On top of that tree sat a snow-white wolf.
The breath is knocked from my lungs and I rush towards the open space with a smile on my face, the excitement and happiness making me laugh out loud. I knew I recognized the voice. I knew it was one who cared for me all this time.
“Star!” I call out and she bounds towards me, her tongue lolling as if she were a pup. She stops running and I drop to my knees so I can embrace her. “Oh, I've missed you!”
/“I've missed you too, Mira!"/ she exclaims, licking my face and gently nipping me. /“It has been too long!"/
Sitting down, I cross my legs, and my eyebrows furrow. “Why did you leave me all those years ago?” There's no time to beat around the bush; if I'm here with Star, seeing her in the same place I met her for the first time, then something terrible must have happened to me. I look down at my belly and see that I am still pregnant. That's a good thing, at least the baby is safe.
/“I never left, Mira, your trauma blocked me out. After the terrible things your father had you do, your sadness was too thick for me to wade through. It became worse when he gave you to that bastard Mikhail, but there was nothing I could do to get through to you no matter how hard I tried...I could only watch and hear you calling out to me.”/
So it was all me, then. All this time Star never left, my sadness was like a constant smog.
“I'm so sorry, I never knew-"
Star rests her furry head on my thigh and huffs. /“This was never your fault, it was all your father and Mikhail. They're the reason you're here right now,"/ she says with fury in her silver eyes.
“What do you mean? What happened to me?”
Star sits back on her hind legs with a growl rumbling in her chest. /“Your father may not have been directly responsible, but he knew Mikhail would try something once you were all in the same room."/
I frown. “Mikhail tried something? Is that why I'm here?”
Star nods her furry head. /“Josef was working for him all this time, Mira; he's the one who stabbed you."/
When Star breaks this news to me, flashes of memories come hurtling back to me all at once. The party, the way Mikhail grinned all through the evening, Nikolaos getting me to safety when he knew something wasn't right-
"Oh, Nikolaos!” I exclaim and cover my mouth with my hands.
He tried to save me, tried to stop the blood. His voice, was filled with pain and regret, echoing over and over in my head, but I cannot hear what he was saying. All this time, he tried to keep me safe when the biggest snake was constantly at my side, feeding information to the man I was running from.
“Nikolaos must be worried sick!"
Star bares her teeth, and it leaves me confused. /"He is extremely worried, I can hear him right now. But, Mira... don't trust him."/
My hands drop from my mouth. “You don't trust him? But he’s the only one who has been good to me-"
/“Mira, he bartered your womb for your freedom, how is that being good to you?"/ she growls. “N-no, that was before we knew...before we started growing closer. He's different now!" I exclaim, but even as the words spill from my mouth, I know how they sound...like I'm trying to make excuses for Nikolaos’ actions.
She huffs again and places her large paw on my thigh. /“l know there is good in him, deep down beneath all his trauma is a scared little boy, too. But every man who has entered your life made it their mission to ruin you. So, until that Alpha does something selfless, I do not trust him."/
I smile at her fierce words and draw my forehead to hers. “Thank you for caring about me, Star. Will you be at my side from now on?
She rolls her eyes. “Someone has to care about you! You're the most precious thing to me, you know. Besides, I am currently keeping that one over there company until you're ready to meet him,” she says, gesturing with her head to some spot behind me.
I get to my feet and now I can see the stream, but there's a black blot in the distance. Looking back at Star, she nods to urge me on and I swallow deeply before walking towards it. Star pads happily next to me, but sits down a few feet from the black blot.
Well, not a blot, but a little wolf pup.
It's laying with its head on its paws, peering up at me and shivering as if he's done something wrong. So I get down on my haunches and smile at him.
"You seem scared,” I say.
He raises his head and nods, I notice then that this little pup has Alpha crimson eyes. Is this Nikolaos’ wolf in my subconscious? No, it can't be. That wouldn't make sense, so who...
/“1 am... I felt you getting hurt,”/ he says in a tiny sniffling voice that breaks my heart. /*I cried out and try to howl, but neither you nor Pappa heard me!"/
Pappa? Wait, is this...is this my pup?!
I sit down in front of the pup and cross my legs. “I'm so sorry for scaring you, little one. But I think I am all healed now and ready to go back to your Pappa.”
His ears perk up and it's the sweetest thing I've ever seen. /“You are? You're feeling better?!"/
I ruffle the fur on his head. “Yes, I am. So you don't need to worry about me anymore, okay? Stay here with Star and enjoy your time with her until I am ready to meet you.”
My heart clenches and guilt pierces through me as I tell this lie. I don’t know if I am going to see him again, especially with that contract I signed. Nikolaos has made it clear that he’s keeping his distance from me from now on, so what will happen?
The pup bounds into my arms and it breaks my heart more. He licks my face and growls playfully, looking at me with nothing but untainted, pure love in his big eyes.
“I can't wait to meet you, Mamma,” he says.
I place a kiss on the top of his head. “I'll be counting down the days, little one-"
"Ares, you named me Ares,” he says proudly and moves from my lap, only to run towards Star.
A little black-furred pup with Alpha eyes named Ares; my baby, the one I am giving up in exchange for my freedom. It was easier before he moved and crept into my heart, it was easier before I grew attached.
How can I leave him after meeting him? How can I leave him when I already love him?
/“Go, Nikolaos is worried about you,”/ Star says and gives me a slow wink. /I still don’t trust him, but I know he cares. So, go to him, and don’t worry - I'm back and never leaving again.”/
That alone warms my heart, but before I can say goodbye, a black vignette appears in my vision and the meadow fades away.
The first time I woke to the sound of beeping monitors, it was after I had run from Mikhail. Now as my eyes slowly open, I take in the sight of a bedroom I've become familiar with - Nikolaos".
His scent is everywhere here - leather and spice so potent it warms my heart. There's also a heaviness on my hand that I can't place. But as I blink the blurriness away, I become all too aware of the pain in my side.
Moving slightly hurts and a groan escapes my lips before I can stop myself. That's when I feel the weight lifting from my hand and my eyes shoot open.
“Mia?”