Tolerating The Player

ISABELLA’S POV

“Then leave” his voice came out so deep and strong that it caught me off. I wasn’t expecting him to say that to me and my heart just broke.

“What did you just say?” My voice croaked but there was no sign of emotion on his face. I was stuck on whether to believe this was my Zachary or not. I could feel the hot fluids flowing down my eyes already.

“You heard me right Isabella!” He flatly responded, a sting of pain and bitterness found its way to my heart. It hurt badly that I couldn’t breathe well. Neither could I say anything for some while. I stared at him in disbelief wondering if I had been talking to another man all along since I came to Brazil.

“Zach what… what have become of you?” My weak voice couldn’t complete the sentence at once as it kept on breaking.

“This is me, this has been me all along and perhaps you were expecting too much from me” he dropped another hurtful statement. The tears continued to flow down my eyes that I lost all of the anger I had earlier on but they have been replaced with sadness.

“Just leave already!” He yelled again, making me flinch. I shook my head at him but before I could say any word to him, he left the apartment banging the door really hard as he left.

I crashed on the floor while burying my head in my knees. My life was just meaningless and pointless. The moment I thought to myself that I had found happiness and Joy, I got to realize it was all just for a short term. So was Zach’s love and every other person.

I couldn’t believe I left Tennessee and flew all the way to Brazil for me to end up receiving this cold attitude from him, perhaps if I had drowned myself in the lake that day I would die with my heart still loving him but I don’t think my heart could stand it anymore.

I entered the room, luckily I hadn’t unpacked a lot of things so I ended up changing my outfit that I had put a lot of effort into just to look good for him. I had planned today in my head, I portrayed it as a perfect date and memorable day. It might not have been a perfect date but it was surely a memorable day. I shortly changed into a sweatpant and hoodie, the tickets shouldn’t have been sold out yet but if it is then I would stay in a hotel overnight.

I brought out my phone to check for available seats but they were only in the first class, I literally couldn’t afford that so I guessed staying in the hotel would be the best choice.

Walking out of the room, I heard the door clicking closed like someone had just rushed out. I checked the table and saw a spare ticket on it. I guessed he really planned to ruin me all along, my presence does bother people a lot doesn’t it.

I grabbed the ticket, it was a first class ticket then I walked out of the door, I waited for some while hoping he would run to me and apologise but my hopes were just fantasy and he never came, I thought if he came back and apologized I would be okay with him but he still didn’t show up. With sadness and hurt enveloped in my heart I left the apartment for the airport.

It was a late night flight so I might as well sleep away my sorrow all through the flight. The hostess had approached me asking what I would like to eat several times but my mouth was literally too heavy to open up to order something. Besides I really didn’t feel hungry even though I realised I haven’t really eaten well all day.This text is property of Nô/velD/rama.Org.

After some couple of hours, I arrived in Tennessee but still didn’t feel alive or free; I only felt numb to everything around me. No where was a happy place for me anymore. I thought of calling Maya but what happened yesterday was still unclear to me, I was still finding it hard to understand it as it all felt like a dream.

I went to my Father’s house but luckily the door was locked so no one was in it. I opened it with my spare key as I entered but felt haunted by the house almost immediately. I couldn’t go to Zach’s house either and the only option was to stay in a hotel for the night. Before leaving for Brazil I had been searching for an apartment and found one I could afford. Perhaps I’ll pay for it later today.

I left the house with a cab and booked a hotel where I dumped all of my loads in, I left immediately to meet the house agent and it was sold to me when I signed the papers.

My only prayer right now Is to not think about Zach or any of them else I could end up badly hurting myself in the new apartment I rented. I would resume work sooner to relieve me of my stress.

ZACH’S POV

I had to do what I did so she would leave but every part of me felt like I did too much already. I knew I must have hurt her really bad but it was sincerely for her own good. I wouldn’t be able to bear a scratch on her skin from those people.

I left the living room banging the door really loud because I was angry at myself, I was being selfish and a coward that I couldn’t afford to let her know about my past in the fear of her leaving me but a part of me felt like I had lost her.

I slumped on the floor outside my apartment not minding the attention from passersby, I thought I was strong but I realized I really wasn’t strong as I broke down in tears with my head buried in my hands. I couldn’t handle the pain in my chest anymore as I hit the wall beside me really hard not caring about the bruises in my knuckles or the amount of blood dripping from it.

If I had to send her away then I must as well get her a ticket. With the help of my friend I managed to buy a ticket for her, it didn’t take long before he pulled over by my apartment and handed the ticket to me. I opened the door a little to check if she was there, I had no courage in me to face her but luckily she wasn’t there.

Sneaking in and trying to not make a sound, I placed the ticket on a place she would easily notice it. I was going to leave when I heard footsteps coming so I rushed out of the room. I hated the fact I was avoiding her being the coward that I am.

I waited at a corner for a while before I saw her walking out of the building. I silently stalked her all the way to the airport just to make sure she was not harmed on her way to the airport.

The moment I heard her flight departure I completely broke down in my car as warm tears continued to flow down my eyes. Being fucked up in my head, I was sad and angry with myself because I have just lost her trust for me, I promised that I wouldn’t hurt her but here I am doing the opposite of what I promised.

I brought out my phone to call someone who has tolerated all of my shits despite knowing everything about me and someone who talks sense into me because right now that’s all I needed.

I dialed Devin’s number and it was taking a lot of time before he picked the call, my mind wandered to different places and I had an imagination of Devin being mad at me but snapped out of it immediately I heard his voice from the other side of the phone. It seemed like his mouth was full with the way he talked.

“What’s the occasion, you literally forgot about your adorable big bro” he teased over the phone. I remembered the last event that happened before he left and being the worst guy I was, I haven’t asked about him and his girlfriend.

“I- ” I trailed off my sentence, I couldn’t be calling him every time something happened between Isabella and I, I should be grown enough to handle my stress. I know what to do but being the chicken I was I’m trying hard to admit the only solution to my problem.

“Hello?” His voice rang from the other side of the phone. Probably checking if I was still on the call.

“I was going to ask about you and your girlfriend, how’s things going?” I asked instead of flooding him with my shit. He wasn’t complaining about them but I know I couldn’t do it forever and now is the best time to start handling my shits myself.

There was silence on the phone for a while, I checked the screen to check if the call was still on.

“She-” his voice broke. Things must’ve not gone smooth for them after that day and it was all my fault, that’s what happens most of the times when I try to be nice or repay one’s kindness to me. I end up fucking up shit for them.

“I’m sorry you didn’t get back together” I sincerely apologised.

“No no, it’s not that, we can never get back together here on Earth but I’ll meet her soon in heaven” his voice came out as a whisper before he cleared his throat. I realized she had died after that day and I sincerely felt bad for him. He truly loved her and she was his first love. I knew she changed a lot in him because Devin used to be worse than me.

“I’m sorry, I should have asked earlier” I apologized again but the tone of his words afterwards sounded different and I could tell he was trying to lighten the mood of the conversation.

“How’s pretty Bella doing?” He dragged her name and I pictured a grin on his face.

This was an opportunity to tell him about what I’m currently facing but I couldn’t. I couldn’t let everything be about me most of the time. ” She’s doing good,” I replied.