Twenty eight
A Living Nightmare
Ruby pov
“What’s wrong?”
Shit. He knows me too well
“Nothing.”
Kelly pushes himself up on an elbow to look at me. “We may not be together anymore, but I can still read you like a book.
“Something’s bothering you. Tell me.”
I suppose I may as well get this over and done with.
“Please don’t be mad,” I whisper.
I won’t be. Just tell me.”
“It’s… it’s my fault you’ve got cancer. It’s my fault you’re going to die.”
Kelly is already shaking his head. “No, it’s not. Leaving someone you love doesn’t cause cancer.”
I know, but witches do.”
What are you talking about?”
I sigh and rest my head on Kelly’s arm then I tell him everything.
He’s silent for most of it, only asking the occasional clarifying question. When I’m done, he just looks at me.
Well? Do you believe me? Are you going to have me carted off to a mental institution?”
I want to.” Will lets out a shaky laugh.
You being mad would certainly be the simplest solution. But what you say makes sense, strangely. You don’t have any history of mental illness in your family, and you’re not in the habit of lying, which makes it most likely that you’re telling the truth.” I burst into tears.
“Ruby! What’s wrong?”
“You’re- you’re the only one who would believe me.”
I try to get myself under control, but the tears keep coming.
Anyone else would demand proof, but you’ve always believed in me. And now you’re going to die because of me.”
Hey. Hey, come here. Listen, we don’t know that. This type of cancer doesn’t just spring up overnight. Yes, it may be magic. but it might just be that Sara used her. power to discover it, not cause it.”Could it be?
The thought of acquittal is tempting, but I’m still not sure.
It’s not like it matters anyway.” Kelly brushes a few tears off my face. “Whatever caused this, it’s here. I’ve got a few weeks left. I’d like to spend them with you.”
“Id like that too. I’m just… I’m so sorry, Kelly.”
Kelly lifts my face a bit, forcing me to meet his eyes. “I want you to listen to me carefully, Ruby. I forgive you. Ok? I forgive you.”
“Why? You should hate me.”
“Yes, you made a stupid decision, but who hasn’t? Yours wasn’t done out of maliciousness, but love. Besides, I don’t want to leave this world holding any grudges. It just takes too much energy, you know?”
“Aren’t you scared?”
Of course, I’m scared. To be honest, that’s part of the reason I’m so eager to forgive you for everything. I need you to hold my hand through this, and that’ll be easiest if I focus
on the good between us rather than the bad.”
Whatever you need. I’ll be here until the end.”
The only question is, what end will that be?”
“What do you mean?”
Kelly sighs.
I’m going to die anyway. The doctor says the end will likely be very painful. I’d prefer to avoid that. What if we don’t wait for nature to take its course? What if I stay around until it gets too hard to keep doing, and you do it?”
You’re asking me to kill you?”
It makes sense. I won’t have to suffer a lingering, horrible end, and you get to be with the man you love.”
I don’t care how much sense it makes! I’m not killing you!”
Kelly shrugs. “Just think about it. When the meds stop working… I might need your help, one last time. I’d rather go quickly than be in agony for weeks.”
The thought of Kelly in agony for weeks is gut-wrenching, but the idea of killing him is no better.
***
Ruby
“Ruby.”
Will’s voice is so soft and hoarse that I have to struggle to hear it.
“I’m here.”
I hurry over to his bedside. Will looks like a ghost.
Five weeks ago, he looked healthy, like he had his whole life ahead of him. Now, cancer has ravaged his body, and he can’t even feed himself.
I’ve tried everything.
Katherine’s coven healer couldn’t do anything for him.
Sara might have been able to, but she refused, and wouldn’t let me talk to her coven healer. I haven’t been able to find any other witch covens.
Human doctors can’t do anything more for him, not even ease his pain.
This is my living nightmare.
“More… morphine.”
“I can’t, Kelly. You’re not allowed more for another hour.”
Please…
I struggle to hold back tears. “The doctor says you’ll build up a tolerance.”
Kelly’s face is scrunched up in pain. He’s trembling with it.
I hate this. I’ve never felt worse in my entire life.
He should only have a few days left, according to the doctor, but those few days seem like an eternity when he’s in such
agony
“Ruby… remember… what we discussed?”
He has to pause to fight for breath every few words, and I wish he’d save his strength, but he keeps talking.
About you… ending it for me? I think… we’re there… please… it hurts…”
“Kelly, I can’t.” I lose my battle against tears. Please.. need you… it hurts too much… please.
I press a hand over my mouth.
How can I deny him?
I’ll never forgive myself for killing him, but neither will I forgive myself for letting him continue to suffer when I can do something about it.
Slowly, I nod. “It’s ok, Kelly. It l all be over in a minute.”
I stumble to my bedroom, blinded by tears. I grab my pillow and return to Kelly. I press a light kiss to his forehead.
“Just relax. This will hurt for a moment, but then it will all be over.”
Thank you, Ruby. Never blame yourself for this. Be happy. I love you.”
I love you too, Kelly.”
My love for him has changed. I love him as a dear friend, rather than a partner, but right now, that doesn’t matter.
All that matters is that I have to kill him.
I press the pillow over Kelly’s face, holding it down tightly. For a few moments, he lies still, but then he starts to struggle.
He has no strength left in his muscles. After maybe a minute, he goes still.
I stay where I am, keeping the pillow in. place. I need to be sure. There’s no way I’ll find the strength to do this again if he’s just unconscious.
I lose track of how long I stayed frozen in place, but it must have been at least twenty minutes. Finally, pull the pillow away.
Kelly’s eyes are open and his face is slack. It’s a horrifying sight, but it’s less disturbing than the view of him in terrible pain.
I go back to my bedroom and put the pillow down in its place. Then I return to Kelly. My legs give out, and I find myself sitting on the floor.
I’m about to call Amelia when my phone starts ringing.
It’s Sara.
I hang up. I’m nowhere near ready to talk to her yet.
I lean back against the wall, staring listlessly up at the ceiling. I should be crying, but I just feel numb. Numb and unable to move.
I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to move again. Right now, it doesn’t feel like it.
It feels like the ceiling is slowly coming down on me.
No. Wait. The ceiling really is moving.
My numbness leaves in a rush as I jump to my feet. The ceiling is slowly but surely coming down. The wall edges vanish beneath it.
What the fuck?
I try to leave, but the door is jammed.
“No, come on,” I moan, tugging at the handle.
Maybe this is my punishment for killing Kelly. Either I’m going mad, or this is some kind of divine retribution. I probably deserve it.
My phone rings again, and this time, I answer it, not caring who it is.
Sara’s voice fills my ear. “Serena, good. I’ve sensed that your task is complete. Your powers will be manifesting soon. You need to learn to”
“Sara, help! The ceiling is coming down and I’m trapped!”
I expect her to tell me that no such thing is happening., but she doesn’t.
It’s your magic. You need to learn to control it. You need to stay calm and focused.
One of the paintings on the wall crashes to the ground, knocked off by the descending ceiling.
“I’m finding that a little difficult right now!”
Sara swears quietly. “Ok, I’m on my way. Just hang tight.”
“I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR YOU TO DRIVE ACROSS TOWN, THE CEILING IS COMING DOWN NOW!”
The line goes dead.Belonging © NôvelDram/a.Org.
The ceiling advances on me. I cringe, going to the ground in a ball and making myself as small as possible, but that doesn’t help. The ceiling keeps grinding downward, ever closer to me.